Ah, summer! That blissful season when some parents are counting down the days until school lets out, while others are mentally preparing for a marathon of chaos. If you’re the one gleefully shouting, “Just five more days until freedom!” then I’m afraid we can’t be friends anymore. Sure, I might grab a drink with you sometime, but I need to hit the unfriend button on our friendship.
Your enthusiasm for beach days, family outings, and the luxury of no schedules is downright exhausting. It’s been a mere two hours since my kids were released into the wild, and I’m already eyeing that wine glass like it’s a life raft.
4:32 PM
“Mommy, how long is a garden stick? Is it the same as this tape measure?”
“Mommy, I’m going to clip this tape measure to my belt loop. See? You’re not looking… How can you say ‘I see’?”
“And Mommy, don’t tell Daddy when he comes home so I can surprise him!”
Meanwhile, my kid is glued to a show called “Puppies and Pals” yet still finds the time to peek at what I’m doing.
4:35 PM
“Mommy, why are you writing about me?”
“Mommy, why did you put a question mark there?”
“Mommy, can you put more cereal in a bag for me?”
“Mommy, I’m going to do my homework now. After I finish the cereal. Oh, can I also have a drink?”
“Before you say something like ‘are your legs broken’ or ‘did you forget where the refrigerator is?’ it’s not funny. I’m in the middle of my show! So can you pleEEzzzee get me a drink?”
“Mommy, are you writing about me in your blog?”
Did I mention that this delightful child is almost eight? What was I thinking sending him to speech therapy at two and a half because he didn’t talk enough?
4:39 PM
He looks over at his older sibling, who is deeply engrossed in his iPad (aka the BEST babysitter).
“What’s the score? What app are you playing? Do you think Daddy can download that for me?”
The older one now jumps in because the younger one is measuring EVERYTHING in the house, including him.
“Stop! You’re being annoying!”
“Stop measuring my foot and my head.”
“Stop measuring Wilsey!”
“Stop!”
“I said STOP!!”
“Mommy!”
“MOMMY!”
“Momm..yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”
So, to all of you eagerly awaiting those long, lazy summer days: Enjoy them. I may never understand your excitement, but rest assured, I’ll be sending my eight-year-old your way so you can raise a glass with me. As for me? I’ll be doing the happy dance come September.
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Summary:
The article humorously captures the chaotic experience of summer vacation from the perspective of a parent overwhelmed by their children’s antics. It contrasts the excitement of summer with the struggles of managing kids at home, ultimately leading to a yearning for the structure that school provides.