Let’s face it: parenting advice from books just doesn’t jive with my personality. I can easily recall all the dreadful outcomes my kids might face if I stray from the prescribed methods, but what I forget (or conveniently overlook) is the actual steps needed to prevent those disasters. Result? Kids = Unstable; Mom = Overwhelmed. Not the best combo. So, when my eldest was around two, I vowed to stop diving into parenting literature.
I’ve only broken that promise a couple of times. One instance was to discover how to curb sibling rivalry before it even started. With a few straightforward strategies, I could instill a sense of self-assurance in my kids and eliminate their need to compete for our attention and love.
The catch? I think it actually worked… a little too well. My children don’t seem interested in outdoing each other for their parents’ affection, which is great for their self-esteem, but a part of me wonders if a little competition wouldn’t hurt. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if my son picked up the remnants of his latest arts and crafts project just to show he’s the “tidy one,” or if my daughter munched on her carrots to flaunt her title as the “healthy eater”?
Sibling rivalry hasn’t vanished; it’s just morphed into more ridiculous and annoying forms. Take these examples:
- I Had It First! The definitions of “had” and “first” are incredibly flexible in my household. “Had” can mean glancing at something from afar, spotting it as it was about to be taken by a sibling, or even contemplating its existence at some previous point. As for “first,” it can range from having touched the item within the last three months to being the one who unwrapped it on a birthday. Interestingly, the current holder of the item is always defined as the one desperately clinging to it—definitely not using it.
- Don’t Go On My Side! Every time we need to get in or out of the car, it’s like a scene from a battlefield. You’d think one side is an exclusive VIP lounge while the other is a war zone, but really, it’s just the same old car.
- I’m Gonna Win! This one is particularly concerning. My kids will risk life and limb to reach the car (or their rooms, or the bathroom) before the other. The prize? Certainly not my admiration for their speed or determination.
- It’s Not a Race! This phrase typically comes from the sibling who’s trailing behind, clearly feeling the sting of defeat.
- That’s Mine! Let’s be real: having two of everything just isn’t practical. Or is it? Maybe I should consider pooling resources with a few other moms to buy a dozen matching plates from Ikea so we can finally avoid the heartache over who gets the orange plate.
Just to clarify, I’m not advocating for my kids to battle for my affection. They already have it—no competition necessary! But if they must flex their competitive muscles, how about cooking up the best breakfast in bed for Mom? Just an idea. Perhaps I could even casually mention that their sibling is working on it first?
To explore more about parenting dynamics and sibling rivalry, check out this helpful resource or learn about the essentials of home insemination at Make a Mom. For those curious about the medical side, the Cleveland Clinic offers great insights into intrauterine insemination.
In summary, while sibling rivalry may take on many forms, it’s also an opportunity for growth and bonding—if we can just steer that competitive spirit in the right direction!