Recently, I received some interesting feedback from readers regarding my choice to bake cookies with my kids. One commenter went so far as to call it “destructive.” In a post I shared about a particularly tough day with my eating habits, I opted to channel my energy into creating lasting memories with my children through baking. Apparently, in doing so, I was setting a poor example of self-care. Who knew that indulging in a little cookie dough could lead to such dire consequences?
This enlightening critique made me rethink not just my baking habits but also the other activities I engage in with my kids that could be considered harmful parenting. It seems I’ve been leading a parenting revolution of sorts, and not in a good way. So, for those of you who are interested in embracing this “let’s screw them up” parenting style, here’s a handy guide:
- Bake cookies. If you want them to grow up with a love for sugar and laziness.
- Visit the zoo. Why not teach them that captivity is entertaining? You might as well introduce them to other questionable literature at bedtime.
- Fly a kite. This is a great way to instill a lack of respect for nature—after all, what if it gets stuck in a tree?
- Push them on swings. This teaches them that pushing others is fun, which could lead to future bullying or worse.
- Let them race Hot Wheels. If reckless driving sounds like a fun future for them, this is the activity for you.
- Swing by McDonald’s. A milkshake run while driving? That’s just asking for trouble!
- Draw with sidewalk chalk. Perfect way to raise little graffiti enthusiasts who might end up in hot water for vandalism.
- Build a fort. Encourage seclusion and antisocial behavior—what could go wrong?
- Take them to the library. Let them pick books, and you might just be raising future shoplifters.
- Play dress-up. A great way to spark a lifelong interest in dubious identity choices.
- Visit a fast-food play area. Because what’s better than letting them explore someone else’s germs?
- Play card games. What better way to introduce them to gambling addiction?
- Engage in tag or hide and seek. Teach them to run away from their problems; it’s a life skill!
- Start a collection. If you want them to end up on a reality show about hoarding, this is for you.
- Introduce puppets. They’ll learn how to speak for others—what a wonderful skill!
- Exercise together. Nothing like a little pressure to lead to unhealthy body images.
- Push them in a stroller. Perfect for raising children who expect everything to come easy.
- Play Simon Says. Because instilling authoritarian behavior is definitely a parenting win.
- Plant a garden. Who knows, this could lead to a budding interest in growing their own herbs.
- Go for a bike ride. This could easily lead to a fascination with outlaw motorcycle clubs in their adult life.
- Write a satirical blog post. If you want to teach them the value of not caring about what others think, this is a great start!
This collection of activities is not just a tongue-in-cheek guide; it’s a reflection of the absurdity that sometimes surrounds parenting advice. For more on navigating the complexities of parenthood, check out this insightful blog post about home insemination. Also, if you’re looking for reliable information on insemination kits, CryoBaby Home Insemination Syringe Kit is an excellent choice. And for those considering IVF, the NHS offers a wealth of information.
Summary
In this playful take on parenting, I explore 21 activities that could be seen as detrimental to your kids’ future. From baking cookies to pushing them on swings, these actions are presented with a humorous twist, highlighting the sometimes absurd nature of parenting critiques.