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Parenting
Twenty Questions I Can Never Seem to Answer
By: Sam and Jamie Wright
Updated: July 23, 2020
Originally Published: May 18, 2015
I once came across a statistic saying that kids ask around 250 questions a day. Multiply that by my three little ones, and it’s no wonder I have a constant twitch in my eyelid and find myself sneaking wine into the shower.
Most of their questions are straightforward and require little thought — “Why are you yelling at that guy if he can’t hear you?” Well, because he’s driving like a total jerk! Others, like “Why do we have eyebrows?” leave me reaching for Google.
However, there are certain questions that I know the answers to, but explaining them in a way that makes sense to a child? That’s another story entirely. Some answers seem like common knowledge to adults, yet they can spiral into a series of inquiries that, if not handled delicately, could lead to years of therapy.
Here are 20 such questions that I struggle to answer:
- Where are the cows on that truck going? To a much better place, I hope.
- Why do you and Dad sleep in the same bed? Honestly, I’m not sure. By the end of the day, I’m so wiped out from dealing with life’s chaos or a bit tipsy that I can barely remember to set the alarm for tomorrow.
- What is this song about? Wait. What the… how long have I been daydreaming while driving? Is that a lake? Is it still Tuesday?
- Why do you wear mascara? Because I’m a hypocrite when I tell you to just be yourself and that your true friends will love you for you.
- Where was I before I was born? The same place the cows are headed, wherever that may be.
- Why do we have to make our beds? Because I had to when I was a kid. Now finish your braunschweiger.
- Anything that involves time measurement. Oh my gosh, I don’t even know how to explain this… it’s just like… it’s an HOUR! searches for an object to demonstrate, points at the house plant We’ll go to the zoo in two Sesame Streets and a Dora episode, alright?
- How did that baby get in her tummy? … Who’s up for some ice cream!?
- How did I get out of your tummy? A miracle, against the odds.
- Why is it thundering? Is that thunder? I thought my headache was just getting worse.
- Why do you always forget stuff? Because I’ve done enough in my life to kill off a lot of brain cells. And they were all pretty fun experiences!
- Why are you staring at your phone and not answering it? Because I don’t want to talk to anyone.
- What is a tampon for? My body has a really awful way of delivering news.
- Does everyone die? Yes, and that thought terrifies me, and it should probably scare you too.
- Why do we have to go to the dentist if we’re just going to die anyway? Because I want you to have a good smile when you marry someone rich.
- Why don’t you have a job? Because you and your siblings have an endless list of needs, and so did my clients. Leaving them wasn’t illegal.
- What are hot dogs made out of? Just nightmares wrapped in mystery.
- If fast food is bad for you, why do you always take us to Taco Bell? I’m hopeful that by the time you grow up, they’ll have a remedy for all the harm I might cause you as a child.
- Why do people drink beer? Because no matter how much laundry you do, it never ends. Ever.
- How does a shooting star grant a wish if it’s just a rock? Because Santa’s not real.
While this can be exhausting, what I cherish most about kids is their endless curiosity and the fresh insights that reshape their view of the world. I just hope they don’t figure out on the playground why Mom and Dad share a bed!
For even more insights into parenting and family life, check out our other blog posts like this one, and for practical resources, visit Make a Mom. If you’re interested in further information about artificial insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Navigating the endless questions from kids can be a challenge for parents. From the amusing to the thought-provoking, these inquiries often leave us wishing for simpler answers. At the heart of it, children’s curiosity is what keeps life interesting, even as we grapple with our own confounding responses.