My husband and I tied the knot back in the ’90s when cell phones were the size of small animals and social media was just a glint in Mark Zuckerberg’s eye. Like many young couples, we hit the wedding circuit as our friends said “I do,” but the invites have since slowed down. Recently, we attended a wedding that was a stark contrast to those we experienced in our youth. The bride was a colleague of my husband’s, and nearly 20 years my junior. Being one of the older guests certainly changes your perspective on the big day, especially when you only know your plus one.
Here are some insights from a slightly weathered wedding attendee:
- Disposable Cameras Are So Yesterday
Gone are the days of disposable cameras at each table. Now, guests capture moments on their smartphones and tag them with clever wedding hashtags like #happilyeverafter or #teamjones. - DIY Has Evolved
DIY no longer means making decoupaged picture frames. Today, it’s all about chalkboard paint, mason jars, and burlap. Thanks to Pinterest, any bride can create her dream wedding, and if she can’t manage it herself, she can hire someone from Etsy to do the heavy lifting. - Music Choices Have Changed
The classic “Here Comes the Bride” has officially been retired. With a world of music at their fingertips, couples curate personalized playlists that reflect their unique love story. - The Dress Change Trend
In the past, brides would wait until the reception ended to change into their traveling outfit. Now, many opt for a second, more comfortable dress earlier in the evening, swapping heels for chic flip-flops. As for me, I leave my painful shoes on—I’m not giving up the one thing that makes me feel sexy! - Seating Arrangements Still Matter
The seating chart remains a strategic operation. Close friends and family get the prime spots while colleagues and distant relatives find themselves at the outer edges of the room. - The Drunken Uncle is Still a Fixture
Some traditions never die. I witnessed an older gentleman downing beers while standing on his head on the dance floor—both impressive and slightly alarming. - Age Gap Realizations
It struck me hard that I’m now closer in age to the mothers of the bride and groom than to the couple themselves. Seeing them in beaded gowns that scream “I’m middle-aged!” was a bit of a wake-up call. - Single and Ready to Mingle
There’s a slight whiff of desperation among the unattached guests. Even those happily single seem to feel the pressure to find a partner, and watching them navigate the dating scene can be quite entertaining. - The Freedom of Guesthood
At weddings, the spotlight is on the bride, allowing me to eat, drink, and dance like nobody’s watching. My husband spins me around the dance floor just like he did on our wedding day, making me feel 23 again.
This article first appeared on May 15, 2015.
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Summary
Attending weddings as a middle-aged guest offers a fresh perspective on the celebrations. From the evolution of DIY decor to the modern music choices and the ever-present quirky relatives, these experiences are unique. As I watch younger couples embrace their special day, I also enjoy the freedom of being a guest and reliving the joy of love and dance.