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She’s Not Being Difficult. She’s Just 3 Years Old.
by Emily Johnson
Updated: Oct. 9, 2023
Originally Published: May 15, 2015
Her cheeks are flushed, and her small frame is trembling with tears. My daughter is sprawled out on the floor of a department store’s changing room, throwing a fit. Despite her grandmother’s sweet intention to buy her a lovely dress, she’s furious because she had her heart set on three dresses. Yes, even the one she adamantly said didn’t “spin right” and the one she wouldn’t even try on. In her eyes, they were all must-haves. So instead of saying “thank you!” to Grandma, she wails and thrashes about on the grimy floor.
She’s not being difficult; she’s just 3 years old.
Her adorable little friend invites her to join in a game of “balance the stick.” (What even is that?!) My daughter sweetly declines. Her friend’s face falls with disappointment. “Sophie?” I gently remind her. “Do you remember how upset you were last week when your friends didn’t want to play Rescue Bots with you? Emma feels that way right now. How about you give ‘balance the stick’ a try for a few minutes?” She gazes at me blankly. “No, thank you!” she sings, spinning on her heel to walk away.
She’s not lacking empathy; she’s just 3 years old.
It’s time for a bathroom break before we head out. My daughter stubbornly refuses. “Oh, great, because Mommy really has to go!” I exaggerate, racing to the restroom. “Do you have to go super badly too?” she asks with sudden interest. “Are you going to pee your pants?” I solemnly nod, and suddenly, she’s racing me to the toilet.
She’s not mean-spirited; she’s just 3 years old.
“Can I watch Rescue Bots when we get home?” my daughter asks eagerly. “Absolutely!” I reply cheerily. “Your sister has piano lessons, and you can catch an episode before we hit the grocery store.” But just like that, her cheerful demeanor flips. She hurls her bowl of snacks to the floor of the minivan, arching her back in frustration. “But I want to watch SO MANY SHOWS!!!” she yells, her eyes wide.
She’s not ungrateful; she’s just 3 years old.
“It’s bath time!” I announce as I fill the tub with water. “But I can’t!” she cries. “My knee hurts!” “Would you like a Band-Aid?” I ask helpfully. “NO! THAT WILL MAKE IT WORSE!” she shouts, appalled at my suggestion. “How about some cream?” I propose. If she could, she’d surely tell me off right now. Instead, she sighs dramatically and hides her face in her hands. Clearly, she’s surrounded by total fools.
She’s not overly dramatic; she’s just 3 years old.
In the presence of my little three-year-old, I hardly go a few minutes without encountering her feisty side. She often sobs over perceived injustices, whether it’s my refusal to let her devour an entire Costco-sized box of organic fruit snacks or the fact that her nightlight isn’t perfectly aligned. It’s as if she lives in a constant state of emotional turmoil, like she just learned that chocolate is banned and her favorite TV show has been canceled. At times, I wonder if I should sneak some mood stabilizers into her yogurt, but then I remember: she’s not off-kilter; she’s just 3 years old.
Sure, she might be a handful now, but I know this phase won’t last forever.
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Summary
This light-hearted piece captures the trials and tribulations of parenting a spirited 3-year-old. From tantrums over dress selections to navigating social interactions, it’s a humorous reminder that young children often respond to their world in ways that can be baffling to adults, but ultimately stem from a place of innocence and youthful emotion.