Mad Men fans were buzzing last night, some shocked and heartbroken over Betty’s devastating lung cancer diagnosis, while others felt a certain satisfaction that the emotionally distant mother was finally facing consequences. But what really struck me was the letter Betty handed to Sally. I expected something tender, perhaps a few heartfelt words to bridge the chilly gap between them. Instead, her detached instructions about her burial—right down to selecting a glam dress and makeup—felt very much on brand for her. Betty is a product of her era. If she’s leaving this world, she’s going out in style, no less!
This scene reminded me of a letter I penned a few years back for my two daughters. Unlike Betty, I cherish my relationship with my kids and revel in being a mom. In our family, it’s my husband who is the cancer survivor. I’ve spent many sleepless nights worrying about him, but as a mother with a partner who has fought a serious illness, one undeniable thought persists: I must ensure that nothing ever happens to me.
So, I wrote a letter with some straightforward advice. Here are a few gems I shared with my girls:
1. Master the Manual in a World of Automatics.
Life’s a highway, right? Those who let life drive them shouldn’t be surprised when they end up in the passenger seat. Take charge, my girls! Shift gears when needed—accelerate or downshift as the road demands. Yes, first and second gears may feel sluggish and tedious, but when you reach fifth or sixth, you’ll savor the thrill of the ride. Plus, there’s nothing cooler than a woman who can handle a stick shift with total confidence.
2. Identify the Energy Vampires.
Drama queens, mean girls, crisis junkies, narcissists—these types suck the life out of you. It’s wonderful to be generous, but don’t let others drain you dry. Recognize who’s taking more than they give, and don’t hesitate to cut them loose. You don’t owe them forgiveness beyond the first mistake. If they cross the line again, it’s time to say goodbye.
3. Choose a Partner Like Your Dad.
I picked him for his wit and intelligence, his loyalty and work ethic, and his incredible parenting skills. And yes, he’s easy on the eyes too—bonus! But looks aren’t everything. I kissed a few frogs before finding my prince. I didn’t settle, and I hope you won’t either.
4. Embrace Your Flaws.
For my sister, it was her freckles. They told the world about her Celtic roots and complemented her stunning hair. Yet, she avoided showing them for years. One day, I asked, “Who are you living for? Why suffer in the heat for strangers who don’t appreciate your uniqueness?” It clicked for her—and now she embraces her beauty. I want the same for you, my dearest daughters. Celebrate what makes you different, and you will flourish.
5. You’re Special—But Not Unique.
There are millions of talented people out there! Don’t expect the world to roll out the red carpet just because you have a gift, whether it’s a pretty voice or soccer skills. Prepare to work hard, face setbacks, and learn from others who may excel. But remember, you don’t need to be a superstar to be worthy—you’re special to me, just as you are, and that’s everlasting.
6. Laugh at Life.
Life is way too short to be serious all the time. Enjoy the ridiculousness! Laugh at silly jokes, clumsy moments, and everyone’s little quirks. When you trip, giggle, dust yourself off, and invite others to laugh along. Embrace your humanity, my darling daughters, because the journey is fleeting. So giggle and guffaw through every twist and turn, knowing I’m smiling right alongside you. Always.
This letter serves as a reminder that while life may throw challenges our way, the love and laughter we share can light the darkest paths. And if you’re looking for more insights on family planning, don’t miss this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination at Resolve. Also, check out Make a Mom for some great tips on enhancing fertility.
Remember, the road ahead is yours to navigate.