Remember when titles like this might have hinted at steamy nights or at least a cheeky message? Ah, the good ol’ days! (Wipes tears of laughter.) Anyway, if you’ve been feeling the weight of the world lately and confiding in your best friend about it, why not throw your husband for a loop and make him wonder if you’ve truly lost it? Here are five delightfully shocking things you can say to get his heart racing and remind him just how wonderfully unpredictable you are!
1. “We’re going to start homeschooling!”
There are folks who can rock homeschooling like pros; however, you are definitely not one of them. Your patience level? Nonexistent. But hey, you do have a quirky sense of humor! Just leave a pile of ancient history and science books on the kitchen counter and announce that you’re quitting your job to homeschool the kids starting tomorrow. Bonus points for getting one of the kids to record his reaction when he tries to tactfully suggest this is a terrible idea!
2. “Have you ever thought about inviting your mom to move in with us?”
This little gem will definitely quicken your husband’s heart rate as he tries to figure out if you’ve gone bonkers, had a spiritual awakening, or are setting a trap. Follow it up with, “…but then I remembered that you and I would probably end up in a battle to the death within a week!” His relief will be palpable, but the thrill of that moment will linger all day long.
3. “Okay, I admit it, I spend too much money!”
Create an elaborate budget spreadsheet that tracks every cent. Start brewing your own fancy coffee instead of hitting the café. Decline any new sock purchases and instead, “repair” the old ones with some good ol’ needle and thread (make sure to buy those tools first!). Then throw in a cheeky comment about how your birth control pills are too pricey and suggest “just seeing what happens” if you were to have a fourth child. Now that’s spontaneity for you!
4. “I had a chat with your boss’s wife and told her you need a raise because you work too hard.”
He’s always encouraging you to become better friends with her, so surprise him by saying you finally met for coffee and laid it all out about how hard her husband makes him work. He might not find the humor in it right away, but trust me, it’ll be a memorable moment!
5. “My sister and I are heading to Vegas for a week!”
If he’s always telling you to relax and let loose a little, this will certainly catch him off guard! Tell him you’re embracing spontaneity and will leave for a week without worrying about childcare. Don’t stress; he can figure out arrangements for those nights he has to travel for work. He’ll get a kick out of this once his initial panic subsides!
Remember, nobody wants a dull marriage! Use these playful tactics to add some excitement to your life, and while he may not thank you directly, you might just see a glimmer of appreciation in his eyes.
For more tips on navigating relationships and parenthood, check out our post on home insemination kits. Also, if you’re interested in home insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic. For those exploring pregnancy options, consider checking out this excellent resource for IVF.
Summary
Spice up your marriage by surprising your husband with some unexpected and humorous statements that will keep him on his toes. From homeschooling announcements to spontaneous Vegas trips, these playful tricks can inject some laughter and excitement into your relationship.