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Enough With the Snack Bags!
Okay, I might end up on some “She Shouldn’t Be a Parent” list for saying this, but it’s high time we talked about a pressing issue—the incessant after-game snack bags! Seriously, what’s the deal with this trend?
Let’s break it down. Why does little Emily need a snack after kicking a ball around for an hour? Is she in danger of starving? Did she burn a bazillion calories while chasing butterflies instead of actually playing? Do I really need to add “snack bag logistics” to my already overflowing to-do list? Or is this just another way to shell out an extra $30?
Every sport my kids participate in has a rotation where each parent is required to bring snacks and drinks for the team. I could understand this if they were in a grueling tournament and missing meals. But I’m talking about a 45-minute basketball game—snack required! Or an hour-long soccer match—snack required! Even the hockey game that’s done in an hour—yup, snack required. It’s ridiculous! These kids don’t need a snack after an activity that lasts the same amount of time as two cartoons! Even when they’re younger, they only play a fraction of the time, so why the need for a snack?
And let’s talk about the snack guidelines. They have to be healthy (because, of course, every kid is excited about biting into that fresh apple) and allergen-free (which I totally understand, but come on). No kid wants a cheese stick after shooting hoops. Plus, your carefully curated snack bag is subject to judgment from both parents and kids alike.
I’ve seen kids turn up their noses at perfectly good healthy snacks because they think it’s “gross”! Seriously, that kid should be directed to the nearest water fountain instead. Who started this madness anyway? Can little Timmy not make it through the game without knowing that a bag of “healthy goodness” awaits him, which he’ll likely toss aside?
And don’t even get me started on the gift bags for bigger competitions. My daughter does gymnastics, where we’ve started including snack bags after meets. I’m fully on board with this because their meets last about four hours, and they miss a meal. I’m happy to provide them with something to nibble on while they wait for awards. But have you seen some of the elaborate setups other gyms bring? It’s like they’re preparing for a royal banquet!
I saw one little girl, Annabelle (don’t forget the ‘e’!), toss her entire gift bag without a second glance. She grabbed the candy and left the rest behind like it was garbage! A little gratitude, please! And to the parent who spent ages crafting that snack bag, please share your secret—do you have that much free time?
Maybe we should go back to the days when kids were expected to do chores and homework without parental intervention. Remember when the only post-game treat was whatever was on the dinner table? Raise your hand if you received a snack bag after your sports events in the 80s or earlier. Thought so—no hands up! We survived without snacks, and no one died of hunger. If you won, you got a pat on the back; if you lost, well, that was life.
Yes, little Clara enjoyed her Hawaiian Punch while I got nothing, and look how well-adjusted I turned out.
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Summary:
In this humorous take on parenting, the author expresses frustration over the obligatory post-game snack bags for kids. She questions the necessity of snacks after short sporting events and highlights the challenges of meeting snack guidelines. The article critiques the extravagant snack setups at competitions and reflects on how past generations survived without such expectations. It suggests a return to simpler times while promoting engagement with other parenting topics.