Parenting
Even Royalty Wear Mesh Panties
by Julia Hart
Updated: May 6, 2021
Originally Published: May 5, 2015
While it may seem like Princess Charlotte’s mother, Julia, glows just hours after childbirth, let’s not forget that she faces many of the same challenges as any new mom. No matter how luxurious her life may be, some experiences are simply inescapable:
- The Plastic Pee Hat: After delivering a baby the size of a watermelon, mothers must navigate the awkwardness of using a plastic contraption that hangs from the toilet seat, all while a stranger observes. Trust me, it’s more painful than it sounds! I felt like I deserved a medal, or at least a cheeseburger, after surviving that ordeal. I can only imagine Princess Julia managing to pee into a hat while a team of stylists worked on her hair and makeup. Good luck applying mascara when you’re dealing with that kind of discomfort!
- The First Postpartum Poop: Oh boy! Just the thought of it conjures up memories that could be straight out of a horror film. No amount of pain medication or stool softener can make this experience less excruciating. Regardless of wealth or status, nobody else can take that burden for you. I’m sure Julia was cursing her husband as she navigated those painful postpartum toilet sessions, just like I did.
- The Tidal Wave of Doom: Regardless of your title, every new mom has to confront a tidal wave of postpartum bleeding that mimics nearly a year’s worth of menstrual cycles all at once. It may be a natural process, but it feels like a scene from a slasher film unfolding in your pants. As if that weren’t enough, the cramps from a shrinking uterus add to the chaos. I can just picture Julia smiling through the discomfort while all this unfolds beneath her elegant dress.
- Mesh Panties to the Rescue: I’ve never been more relieved yet horrified to wear a piece of clothing in my life than those mesh panties. They provide a soft embrace for the Texas-sized pads that are a must after the Tidal Wave of Doom. Plus, they allow for breathability, which is essential since the last thing you want is sweat mingling with the chaos below. I was genuinely worried about switching back to regular underwear once I ran out of my mesh stash at home. I’m willing to bet Julia, even with all her royal perks, is donning these mesh wonders while waving from the hospital steps.
- Breast Engorgement and Spraying: I was shocked when my pregnancy-induced breasts grew even larger post-delivery, and the hardness made me feel like they might explode! While Julia likely has all the royal comforts, dealing with engorged, rock-hard breasts is still part of her journey. Yes, she has skilled medical staff on hand, but the discomfort is hers alone, all while paparazzi are snapping photos from every angle.
Even though Princess Julia navigates these rites of passage with grace, she certainly experiences the same struggles of motherhood as the rest of us, albeit while looking like a goddess. Smiling through the pain for the cameras, we all know it’s worth it, even if it means dealing with hemorrhoids along the way.
For a deeper dive into the realities of pregnancy, you can check out this informative resource on home insemination, or explore the artificial insemination kit for those considering their options. And for an honest look at the challenges of motherhood, don’t miss this post on our other blog, advertiser disclosure.
In summary, royalty and commoners alike endure the trials of postpartum life. From the awkwardness of plastic pee hats to the unrelenting pain of the first bowel movement, every new mother shares these experiences. Regardless of status, motherhood is a journey filled with both beauty and challenges!