As a new mom, hearing comments like, “That baby looks strange. His eyes are ugly,” can feel like a punch to the gut—especially when you’re just trying to enjoy a chicken-fried biscuit in peace. Seriously, kids can be so brutal! To give you a bit of context, my son, now almost 8 months old, was born with a unique eye condition. He has ptosis in one eye that required surgery to maintain his vision and some webbing and a fistula on the other. We anticipate more surgeries in the next couple of years.
Now, I’m expecting another little one in September, which has heightened my protective instincts. I’ve always worried about the bullying my sweet boy might face, even during his time in the NICU, where I spent sleepless nights fretting about his future friendships, love life, and self-esteem. Okay, maybe worrying about him ending up homeless was a bit overdramatic, but hey, pregnancy hormones can do strange things to a person!
When I first heard those hurtful remarks from the kids at the fast-food restaurant, I was devastated. I remember crying in the middle of the restaurant while my husband, my steadfast support, reminded me that I was letting those kids win. I knew he was right, but that didn’t stop the anger boiling inside me. It took me a few days to come to terms with it, but then I had an epiphany.
Our child is incredible. He brings joy to every room he enters, sports a smile that could light up the darkest days, and he doesn’t even realize he is “different.” If he isn’t bothered by it, then why should I be? Those boys who made the hurtful comments probably have their own insecurities—maybe they just needed to lash out. Either way, they are the type of people our son will encounter throughout his life. How my husband and I respond will shape his reactions and resilience. Talk about parental pressure!
Kids are naturally curious, and I’ve noticed that they often stare at our son, which is totally normal. Once, while shopping, an elderly man approached me and said, “Poor little thing. What’s wrong with his eyes?” Instead of feeling annoyed, I chose to turn it into a teaching moment. I cheerfully responded, “No need to feel sorry for him! He sees perfectly and is one of the happiest babies around.” My little sidekick flashed a huge grin just then, and I realized that we made a pretty good team.
I really dislike when people say that our child’s condition is a gift from God because He believed we could handle it. I mean, sure, I could also handle a bathtub full of cockroaches, but that doesn’t mean it’s something I’d choose! Still, in that moment of connection with the old man, I felt a surge of pride in both my son and myself. I wish I could rewind time and educate those boys on what was going on with our son’s eyes. I should have taken the high road and been a role model when no one else spoke up. But let’s be real; sometimes I just feel exhausted. Answering questions and dealing with stares can be draining. But this is our life now.
We don’t know if our second baby will have the same condition, and honestly, we stopped worrying about it months ago. We had done genetic testing early on and found that everything was fine. Now I can proudly say that I’m the mom of a preemie and a child with facial differences. I’m also the mom of a smart, funny, lively, spirited, and HAPPY little boy. So when it comes down to it, what more could a mother ask for?
Absolutely nothing.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination. For more information on fertility topics, visit WomensHealth.gov, and if you’re looking for a reliable home insemination kit, check out Make a Mom.
In summary, I’ve learned to embrace my son’s uniqueness and focus on the joy he brings to our lives, rather than worrying about the opinions of others. Life is too short to let negativity steal our happiness.