There we were, my 11-year-old daughter and I, seated in the lunchroom of her elementary school, sporting our pajamas and surrounded by the mouthwatering aroma of fresh pizza. The room buzzed with around 30 excited fifth-grade girls and their equally jittery parents.
Titled “Girls Night Out,” the event was designed to provide insights into the journey of growing up and the physical changes that would soon be part of the girls’ lives. If you’re a parent, you know this is often referred to as “the talk”—that moment when a dad must face the reality that his little girl is on the verge of entering the teenage years.
So, why was I, a dad, attending an event filled with girls and their mothers? Simple, my daughter asked me to come along. And when she feels comfortable enough to invite me to something that might be uncomfortable, that’s the kind of trust I want to nurture. It’s this bond that keeps our lines of communication open as she grows.
As mothers and daughters filled the last of the tables, I could sense the side-eye glances and curious looks directed my way. Under different circumstances, I might have felt like a fish out of water, but not that night. I was there for my daughter.
After an awkward icebreaker—where we quizzed each other on our knowledge of the female menstrual cycle—we watched a retro video from the 1980s. It featured characters discussing the changing female body (think breasts, pimples, and body hair) and how the reproductive system functions. The air was punctuated by the nervous giggles of preteens, adding to the tension in the room.
Once the video wrapped up, the girls had a chance to ask questions. Some bravely voiced their inquiries, while others opted for anonymity with note cards. The questions flowed, revealing genuine curiosity about the changes ahead, and despite the giggles, they tackled the subject with impressive bravery.
The adults, however, had a different reaction. Many were blushing, whispering, and some looked like they’d prefer to be anywhere else than discussing puberty and menstruation in an elementary school lunchroom. That moment called for a response from me, for my daughter’s sake.
I spoke up, explaining that if I treated these topics as taboo, how could I expect my daughter to feel comfortable discussing them with me? I want her to understand that these experiences are normal and natural. So, I dove right into the conversation about periods.
I shared my guess about how much blood a girl might lose during her period and confidently explained that cycles typically last three to seven days. I elaborated on the average 28-day cycle, and even discussed the importance of tracking those cycles. I reassured my daughter that it’s completely normal to feel a bit irritable with friends and family right before her period starts.
I didn’t hesitate to say that she might get her period tomorrow or perhaps five years from now, and that no matter when it happens, she’ll be just fine. I promised her that her mother and I would always be here to answer any questions, no matter what they might be.
Finally, I emphasized that I would gladly help her buy tampons or pads, but I also reminded her that when she’s ready for a relationship, any boy worth her time will feel the same. A guy who’s embarrassed to be with a girl who has a functioning uterus isn’t worth it.
Fathers need to step up and play an active role in educating their daughters to embrace every part of themselves. It’s time for all parents—especially dads—to stop treating topics like menstruation as if they are something to be ashamed of. We should empower our daughters to feel like the valuable individuals they are.
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In summary, embracing conversations about puberty and periods is a crucial step in fostering open communication between parents and daughters. By addressing these topics openly, we help our girls navigate their transitions with confidence and understanding.