Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: April 26, 2015
“Mom, guess what?” my daughter exclaims as she hops into the front seat. It still blows my mind that she’s old enough to sit up there with me.
“What’s up?” I reply, turning the key in the ignition without really thinking.
“I just had my first kiss!”
Wait, what?
Sure, she’s nearly 13, and I was about the same age when I had my own first kiss. It took place in my basement, with Loverboy blasting from a yellow boom box while we roller-skated across the cool, gray concrete. We raced back and forth between my dad’s workbench and the faded gold carpet rolled up against the wall. Out of breath, I plopped down on that rug, laughing. When he sat next to me, our knees touched and it sent my heart racing. Then he leaned in and kissed me—what a messy, exhilarating moment that was, leaving me giddy and, honestly, a bit queasy.
I didn’t tell my mom. In fact, I didn’t even share it with my best friend for almost a week. I was torn between feeling thrilled and wondering if I was supposed to be embarrassed. Did I now belong to that group of seventh-grade girls with feathered hair who kissed like it was a sport? Did I need to swap my Lip Smackers for something more sophisticated? It was a lot to process. So, I kept that sweet secret tucked away, relishing in its thrill all by myself.
My daughter, however, is not one to keep things to herself. Before I can fully digest her news, she’s furiously typing on her phone. Of course, she’s broadcasting this moment to her entire friend circle because why keep a secret when you can share it with the virtual universe? I want to urge her to savor this special experience a little longer, but I’m just as hooked on real-time updates as she is. Even if our social media circles don’t overlap much, we both crave connection.
This urge to share, especially among peers, isn’t new. But some moments deserve to be kept close—shared only with those who matter most, or even just with yourself. I want her to embrace the full spectrum of emotions that come with her first kiss—the sweetness, the surprise, the hint of desire, and, if she takes after me, a touch of awkwardness—without worrying about what her friends might think or how it might play out online. I wish for her to truly own her experiences before they become fodder for the world, whether virtual or tangible. Once you share a moment, you can’t take it back.
I glance at my daughter, her long caramel hair draping over one shoulder, illuminated by the glow of her screen.
“Wow, your first kiss,” I say, trying to convey how significant this moment is. “That’s a pretty big deal.”
“Yeah,” she replies, looking up, a faint smile on her face.
I’m bursting with curiosity: Was it a peck or something more? Was it with a crush or just a friend? A game of Spin the Bottle or a spontaneous moment? I want to grab her hands and exclaim, “Tell me everything!”
Instead, I shift the gear into reverse. “You know I’m here whenever you feel like talking about anything,” I say, sensing her hesitation. “Or not.”
“I know, Mom,” she responds. She glances at her phone one last time before turning it off and gazing out the window at the starry night.
We drive home in a comfortable silence, both of us wrapped in our own secret stories.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother navigates her daughter’s first kiss, contrasting her own teenage experience with the modern urge to share every moment on social media. While she celebrates her daughter’s milestone, she also hopes to impart the importance of cherishing personal experiences before broadcasting them to the world.