Updated: April 11, 2023
Originally Published: February 4, 2015
Last night, as I strolled through the nearly deserted mall with my two youngest kids, I noticed a group of five girls trailing us by a few paces. We had just enjoyed a movie and were in high spirits, making our way to meet up with my four older children. While pausing to snap a photo at one of those fun cutout boards where you can stick your faces through the holes, I caught a glimpse of you all—laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I remember how delightful it is to be a teenager, especially in a vibrant place like a mall.
As I continued with my kids, my son lagged behind for a moment to adjust his earbuds. Like many 13-year-olds, he was lost in his music. However, if you had glanced at his playlist, you might have noticed it was quite unique; Disney songs, The Muppets, and a preschool favorite called The Fresh Beat Band probably filled his ears. You may not have recognized his differences until you saw him dash to catch up with me. His method of running—on his toes with a somewhat awkward gait—might have seemed amusing to you, especially with his tall frame of 6’3″.
The mall’s emptiness allowed me to hear your giggles morph into mockery. I sensed the need to turn around, even though I knew what I would find. One of you was imitating my son’s movements, arms flailing, while the others joined in with laughter. My son and his little sister were blissfully unaware of this exchange, lost in their world. I took a few steps towards you, feeling my demeanor shift from cheerful mother to someone ready to confront you. I can only imagine the startled expressions on your faces as the laughter faded and embarrassment set in.
I don’t recall my exact words, but I believe I said something like, “My son has autism. I hope you’re not making fun of him.” Your immediate stuttering response of “We’re not. We’re not making fun of anyone” made me question myself for a brief moment, but then I recalled clearly seeing one of you mimicking my son while the others laughed.
Without further words, I walked back to my children, feeling grateful that my son had his headphones in. He likely wouldn’t have comprehended much of our exchange anyway. As we moved down the mall, I reminded myself that you are just kids—probably decent young ladies most of the time. One of you acted impulsively, while the rest followed suit, lacking the courage to stand against the joke. I understood that all five of you have families who love you as much as I adore my children. Perhaps it’s possible you genuinely thought ridiculing someone else was harmless fun, unaware of the pain it could cause.
It’s also conceivable that your school separates students with special needs, or that your peer group finds it acceptable to laugh at their differences. In our small town, my son, Tate, attends a school where his classmates embrace him for who he is, without mockery. If they had been with him that night, I’m sure they would have defended him more vigorously than I did.
In all honesty, I’m not sure confronting you was the right choice. I’ve never witnessed anyone mock my son before. In fact, I can’t recall him ever being made fun of in thirteen years. Maybe there were instances I simply didn’t notice, but I’d like to think you were the first. How does that make you feel? You broke a thirteen-year streak for us.
If statistics hold true and you all grow up to become mothers, it’s likely that one of you may have a child or grandchild with a disability. While I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, I sincerely hope you experience a long stretch without facing bullying. More importantly, I hope that if your child or grandchild ever encounters ridicule, you won’t be able to reflect back on this moment when you laughed at a child with disabilities, causing a mother distress. That burden could be too much to bear.
For more insights on understanding autism and supporting those with special needs, check out our previous post here. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination options, this fertility booster is a great resource. For questions about fertility insurance, this FAQ can provide valuable information.
In summary, it’s essential to recognize the impact of our words and actions on others, particularly those who may be different from us. We should strive for compassion and understanding in every interaction.
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