Updated: Aug. 15, 2015
Originally Published: April 22, 2015
What I Hear vs. What They Say
What I hear: …before I’ve even sipped my coffee.
What they say: “Never go to bed angry.”
What I hear: …at yourself. Sure, he might have been a jerk, but you have to let it go.
What they say: “Consume five servings of fruits and vegetables daily.”
What I hear: …as a family. Moderation is key, right?
What they say: “When one door closes…”
What I hear: …there’s probably a kid outside wanting a snack.
What they say: “Dance like nobody’s watching.”
What I hear: …unless it’s Ryan Gosling, then break out the sexy moves!
What they say: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
What I hear: …or boosts your wine intake.
What they say: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
What I hear: …time to binge-watch my favorite show!
What they say: “The 5 Second Rule.”
What I hear: …it’s totally fine for your kid to pick up that gummy bear from the floor, even if it’s been there since last week.
What they say: “A happy wife means a happy life.”
What I hear: …midlife crisis alert!
What they say: “Opt for organic.”
What I hear: …like Cheetos and Nutella, right? Those are natural, aren’t they?
What they say: “Get 30 minutes of cardio each day.”
What I hear: …or just round that down to 3 minutes, that seems doable!
What they say: “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
What I hear: …sticky, gooey messes all over my car.
What they say: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
What I hear: …only focus on the big stuff while simultaneously stressing over the small stuff, especially at 3 a.m.
What they say: “Take the road less traveled.”
What I hear: …and set up camp there. Bring a pillow; maybe you can sneak in a nap!
What they say: “Aim for at least eight hours of sleep.”
What I hear: …per week, if you’re lucky.
What they say: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
What I hear: …and don’t forget to add a splash of vodka.
What they say: “Choose your battles wisely.”
What I hear: …pick the fights you can actually win and go all in!
What they say: “Drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily.”
What I hear: …and then keep track of how often you run to the bathroom, using those new math techniques!
What they say: “40 is fabulous.”
What I hear: …compared to 80, sure!
What they say: “Go big or go home.”
What I hear: …so might as well go big—home is a bit loud and chaotic, anyway.
Further Reading
For more relatable musings on parenting, check out our other blog posts like this one on home insemination, or learn about the cryobaby at-home insemination kit for your own journey. If you want to dive deeper into the science, this Wikipedia article provides great insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, navigating parenting advice can feel like a minefield of conflicting messages. While experts may offer well-meaning guidance, what we often hear reflects our chaotic realities. Embracing the humor in these contrasts can make the journey a little lighter and more enjoyable.