This morning, while I was “working” (which really meant scrolling through social media and browsing parenting blogs), I stumbled upon an article about a mom who handcrafts a different Disney princess dress for her daughter every time they visit a Disney Park. I’m not kidding. She actually makes these dresses from scratch for all their trips.
Here’s the thing: I don’t recall my mom ever doing that for me. In fact, I don’t remember any of my friends’ parents doing it either.
Here’s what I do remember:
- Sports Events: My parents didn’t attend every single game or practice. I have vivid memories of being dropped off at the curb with a quick wave and a reminder to return in two hours.
- Classroom Events: Sure, my parents showed up for the major events like my second-grade violin recital, but they weren’t at every classroom party or field day. Honestly, my teachers spent more time with me during the school day than my parents did.
- Disney Visits: I went to Disney twice as a kid. Both times, I wore a basic outfit from the clearance rack at Sears—not a handcrafted dress.
- Parenting Terms: Back in my day, we didn’t have terms like “playdates” or “conscious uncoupling.” Kids just played, and if parents had issues, they dealt with them quietly. No one was “Ferberizing” their babies or having deep conversations with toddlers about their feelings.
- Parental Oversight: My parents didn’t track my every move or try to be my friends on social media. I had my own phone line, and they rarely answered it. If I missed curfew? Grounded. Simple as that.
- Parents vs. Friends: My parents were just that—my parents. They weren’t my social circle or confidants. I’d roll my eyes at them and ask for money, but they weren’t trying to be my buddies.
- Birthday Parties: I don’t remember lavish birthday parties with themed cakes and gift bags filled with gift cards. Halloween costumes were store-bought, and Christmas gifts came from discount stores. We were happy with what we had.
- Extracurricular Activities: I wasn’t juggling multiple sports and activities at a young age. My siblings weren’t either. Parents didn’t fret over exposing us to everything under the sun. If you liked an activity, you tried it and then moved on.
Now, I’ll admit, I sometimes find myself trying to keep up with the “Parenting Joneses.” My kids are a bit overscheduled, and yes, I’ve even made their Halloween costumes by hand. I can’t help but wonder, though, what kind of culture we’re creating for our kids. Is it really necessary to have handmade Disney dresses for a trip to see Mickey Mouse? It seems a bit much.
Let’s face it: if my mom ever saw me making dresses for my daughter’s Disney trip, she’d probably ground me and take away my car privileges for good measure. And I’d accept it. Because after all, I’d really need that car for Saturday night plans.
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In summary, while we may feel the pressure to provide more and do better as parents, it’s worth reflecting on the simplicity of childhood experiences from our own pasts. The quest for perfection may lead us astray, teaching our children that they should always expect more, rather than appreciating what they have.