“Remember when that happened?” Jake asks, raising an eyebrow. “We’re definitely from the same generation.”
Whether we truly belong to the Gen X club is a frequent topic of discussion at our house. You see, my husband was born in 1965, while I made my debut in 1980. Some folks might argue that he’s at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation and I’m on the cusp of being a Millennial. But when it comes to how we identify, we both stand firmly as Gen Xers. Our age difference isn’t that significant—Jake doesn’t strike me as part of the same generation as my Baby Boomer parents, and I certainly don’t feel aligned with our Millennial nieces and nephews or my siblings.
Our nostalgic chats about shared cultural moments serve multiple purposes: they reassure him that he’s not a cradle robber and help alleviate my worries about managing an aging husband (and parents) all at once. But more importantly, they remind us of the unique experiences we both had while growing up.
Here are five reasons why we functionally belong to the same generation:
- We both lived in the shadow of nuclear fears, although the Cold War didn’t grip our childhoods as tightly as it did for my parents. No air raid drills for us! Still, Jake recalls the anxiety that washed over him when Reagan jokingly claimed he’d “outlawed Russia” and added, “We begin bombing in five minutes.” Meanwhile, I panicked over the thought of Reagan whimsically pressing “the red button” to kick off World War III. As a child, I even believed my new baby brother was a Russian spy in disguise. This brother and his Millennial siblings have no memory of the Cold War’s chilling influence.
- Growing up in the post-Vietnam era, we both heard our dads share tales of dodging the draft. Jake’s father, a straight-laced Republican physician, was called up in his thirties but managed to convince the draft board to let him stay home. Meanwhile, my stepdad and father, both California hippies, avoided service thanks to high draft numbers and conscientious objector status. Unlike the Boomers who felt the war’s impact firsthand, Jake and I are a generation removed from it.
- Both of us entered the world of dating during the AIDS epidemic, and we remember the fear that accompanied that. We’d get tested before getting serious with a partner—not just to check for STDs like my younger siblings do, but with a genuine dread of a possible positive HIV diagnosis. The fear of infidelity leading to a death sentence was real. Millennials today don’t seem to carry that same weight, likely due to medical advances and reduced transmission rates.
- We both grew up watching Three’s Company and grooved to the sounds of The Cure, Duran Duran, and U2. We fondly recall the excitement of REM’s Automatic for the People being released on that cool yellow cassette tape. Yes, cassette tapes! Even back when I was in my awkward teen years and he was off in college, we shared the same pop culture landscape.
- We both typed up research papers on typewriters—at least until I reached high school. Neither of us had the “World Wide Web” before graduating, nor did we own cell phones until after college. I still chuckle at how, in my senior year, one of my housemates proposed getting a shared cell phone, and the rest of us laughed it off as unnecessary. Now that sounds downright hilarious! On the bright side, we’ve adapted to tech better than my parents, even if we occasionally need help from my Millennial siblings.
So yes, there’s a 15-year gap between us, but the shared generational experiences we’ve had make that gap feel minor. Well, until he starts forgetting things due to dementia, but that’s a concern for another day.
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Summary: Despite a 15-year age difference, Emily and her husband Jake identify as Gen Xers, sharing similar cultural experiences that bridge their generational gap. From fears of nuclear war to navigating the AIDS epidemic, their shared history highlights how generational lines can sometimes be blurred.