Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park, especially when your mom has the fierce spirit of a Latina Tiger Mom. My mother, Isabella “Bella” Martinez, arrived in New York City at the tender age of 15, having fled the Dominican Republic amidst political turmoil. Her father, a sharp-dressed tailor, led the family’s escape, but the shadows of their tumultuous past lingered. Bella was adamant that this new land would offer a fresh start—not just for her, but especially for her children.
Growing up with Bella meant a whirlwind of passion and determination, often resulting in heated debates. (I still remember her saying, “I could never break you,” and I took that as a badge of honor.) Although her formal education ended with a G.E.D., Bella was a master of life lessons, preparing us to embrace every opportunity that came our way. Ten years after her battle with colon cancer, I’m crafting a book filled with her wisdom, but here’s a glimpse at some of her best advice—a heartfelt tribute to this remarkable woman:
- “Are you an ‘A’ or a ‘B?’”
Report card days were serious business. Bella believed in nothing less than an “A.” If I ever brought home a “B,” she’d quip in her lively accent, “If you think you’re a B, then be a B. If you believe you’re an A, then be an A.” This lesson was a brilliant reminder of self-empowerment and taking control of one’s destiny. - “Was there a gun to your head?!”
Bella often referenced her father’s traumatic past to remind me that we always have choices, even if they are tough ones. This lesson instilled in me the belief that you are the master of your fate—no one else can dictate your happiness or success. - “White people don’t have a monopoly on speaking well.”
As a Latina family moving from the vibrant streets of Brooklyn to the quieter suburbs of New Hampshire, we faced our share of challenges. Bella’s wisdom encouraged me to rise above the stereotypes and embrace our worth. We were just as capable as anyone else, and that’s a message I carry with me. - “You are your only competition.”
Jealousy had no place in Bella’s world. She was quick to dismiss any envy I felt towards peers. “Want that? Earn it yourself,” she’d say. This mindset helped me focus on self-improvement rather than comparisons, keeping my eyes on my own path. - “Everything is temporary.”
Impatience was (and still is) my middle name, but Bella reminded me that time heals all wounds. “You think I got here overnight?!” she’d say, emphasizing the importance of perseverance. - “So what if you scrub toilets?”
To Bella, no job was beneath us. She taught us the dignity of hard work, explaining that every role has value and is simply a stepping stone to greater things. - “You never know who will be your boss someday.”
From the janitor to the CEO, Bella insisted on treating everyone with respect. Her advice taught me that kindness pays off, as you never know how paths might cross in the future. - “You never know who is watching you.”
While I’m all for the feminist movement, Bella instilled a sense of pride in presentation. She believed that looking your best could break down barriers, especially for women of color. - “They can take everything from you, but not your education.”
Bella’s experiences in a revolution taught me that knowledge is the one thing that can never be taken away. Your education is a hard-earned asset that stays with you. - “Want to know what happens when you do that?”
Bella’s tales of childhood mishaps and her rigorous upbringing instilled in me a respect for life’s fleeting nature. I realized how fortunate I was to have a different upbringing and never take my advantages for granted.
Her lessons remain with me today as I share them with my own family and reflect on this powerful legacy. For more incredible insights on family and parenting, consider checking out other resources like this one.
In summary, my mom’s fierce wisdom shaped who I am today. From self-worth to the value of education, she taught me to navigate life’s complexities with strength and dignity. Whether you’re a parent or just someone looking for a little inspiration, remember: the lessons from our roots can guide us to soar.