As new families are moving into my neighborhood, I can’t help but notice the fresh faces of eager moms and their stylishly dressed kiddos. They look like they could use a sprinkle of advice—whether they ask for it or not! Now that my kids are in elementary and middle school, I’ve had some time to think about the parenting choices I made when they were little. Here are ten things I would do differently if given the chance…
- Avoid Pet Rodents: First off, I would skip the whole hamster ordeal. Caring for those little furballs was more stressful than I ever imagined. I spent more time cleaning their cage than tidying my own home, only to have them meet their end anyway. If I can’t keep a 4-ounce critter alive, what makes me think I can raise humans? Plus, while we were nursing Nibbles back to health, we had traps set in the garage for, you know, actual pests. So, I was basically a rodent serial killer. Great parenting!
- Less Scheduling for Dolls: I wouldn’t over-schedule my daughter’s American Girl doll. Sure, those dolls are adorable, but mine had expensive hobbies and never followed through. She tried snowboarding, violin, painting, and even horseback riding, but quit on all counts. Talk about disappointing! I could just picture my daughter needing therapy down at the American Girl psychiatric ward.
- Speak in Accents: I would raise my kids to speak with British accents. Imagine how much more civil our home would be! “Mummy, I missed the loo” sounds way better than “I peed on the floor.” Plus, calling a sibling a “twit” instead of an “idiot” might just save some arguments. “Of course, my lad, have a biscuit!” would be so charming.
- Skip Disney World Trips with Toddlers: I would definitely rethink our trip to Disney World with a 3 and 5-year-old. It felt like we were in the Amazing Race, sprinting from ride to ride with kids and gear in tow. By the end of the day, we were exhausted and hangry, and our grand prize was a 30-second ride on Dumbo. Not worth it!
- Avoid Baby Einstein Overload: I would steer clear of the Baby Einstein video craze. Sure, my kids became experts at barnyard animals and colors, but those skills didn’t exactly help them ace any tests. I want a refund on those hours!
- Delay Sports Enrollment: I wouldn’t enroll my son in sports until he’s at least 6. He was burnt out on soccer by age 5 and now wishes he had stuck with it. I mean, if he didn’t enjoy it, why push it? There’s plenty of time for cold mornings on the sidelines later.
- Lying About Kid’s Menu Choices: I would have fibbed about the kids’ menu selections before my kids could read. Maybe if I had told them they could order arugula salad and salmon, they wouldn’t be such picky eaters now!
- Skip Expensive Classes for Toddlers: I wouldn’t spend a fortune on “music” and “gym” classes for my 2-year-old. Yes, my kids learned to jump into ball pits and bang on xylophones, but was it really necessary to pay for that? My 3-year-old still can’t plank properly, so what was the point?
- One Large LEGO Set for Holidays: I would buy my son a single large LEGO set to re-wrap for every birthday and holiday. Initially, it was great watching him build, but eventually, he wouldn’t play with them for fear of breaking them. I fell victim to a marketing scheme, and now I have a pile of bricks just gathering dust.
- No Fancy Birthday Parties for Toddlers: I wouldn’t throw extravagant birthday parties for kids still in diapers. I once hosted a massive Spider-Man bash for my son at age 2, and years later, he couldn’t even remember it. Instead, I should’ve snapped some pics at other kids’ parties and passed them off as his own. You’re welcome!
So there you have it! Learn from my blunders, and by the way, don’t tell new moms that “it goes by so fast.” That’s a lesson for another day.
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In summary, parenting is a wild ride filled with lessons learned from both triumphs and mistakes. Embrace the chaos and enjoy the journey!