When I was 42, one of my friends asked if the specialist I had consulted—who was meant to ensure I had a safe pregnancy—had given me the green light to have a baby. “But I thought you were 35! You’re older than that?” she exclaimed.
“I am! And if Jennifer Aniston can have a baby at 45, then surely I can do it at my age,” I replied with a grin that was perhaps a little too enthusiastic.
Truthfully, while I received lots of kind words and supportive inquiries during my pregnancy, which came a decade after my first child was born, I also faced a barrage of cringeworthy, intrusive questions. I often responded with a polite smile and nod, followed by an urgent, non-existent call from my silent phone, just to escape the onslaught of inquiries.
I hadn’t originally planned to welcome another child at 42, but I embraced the idea wholeheartedly. To me, the alternative was far more daunting. However, people often didn’t care about the thoughtful considerations that led to my decision, nor did they want to hear my witty or very honest comebacks. Here’s how I managed the most ridiculous questions—or wish I had—while navigating pregnancy over 40.
How did this happen?
Just like you and I were conceived—over a bottle of wine and some creative positions. Classic conception never goes out of style!
You got pregnant without assistance?
This question came at me from all angles—from the physician assistant tirelessly drawing blood for tests to random acquaintances. Apparently, the bright orange “ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE” sticker on my medical records was a glaring sign. Honestly, this is a personal matter that only concerns my healthcare provider. And by the way, just tell me I look great and am super smart instead!
Are you more exhausted than you were in your 30s?
Absolutely. That was before pregnancy even kicked in, and I was going to bed at 2:30 PM! Sure, I’m wiser, more confident, and in a much better relationship now. Yes, sleep deprivation hits differently at 42 than it did at 32, but thankfully, it wouldn’t be as tough if I were 52. Thank goodness for the pour-over coffee trend!
So, this is definitely your last child, right?
Possibly. Maybe. Probably. Who’s to say? Thanks for your concern, Mom! I know you worry about my body holding up, but let’s keep the focus off my future reproductive plans until my partner and I figure that out ourselves.
You’ll be HOW OLD when she goes to college?
This is my second child! We’re all set for her to skip college and embrace a life of pottery sales on a commune in Bali. Trust me, no one in Bali cares how old I am!
Are you planning to get married?
The beauty of having a baby later in life is that I can simply say, “nope” to that question.
What does your mom think?
Oh, she’s thrilled! Just kidding, she actually thinks I shouldn’t put my “old” body through another pregnancy. But she’s excited to welcome another grandchild and can’t wait to shower that little one with love and possibly too many cute outfits from the clearance rack at Marshall’s.
You know things have changed since you last had a baby, right?
Of course! Electricity and all sorts of newfangled gadgets have come around! The parenting tech is much better, and apps like contraction timers and breastfeeding guides are lifesavers. But when it comes to raising kids, it’s surprisingly similar to how it was 10 years ago. Thanks for the unsolicited advice, though; I’ll add it to my collection of parenting manuals!
Are you worried people will think you’re her grandmother?
Honestly, I’d be more concerned if they mistook me for her sister, leading her down a path of chaos and bad decisions. If they think I’m her grandmother, they can tip off the tabloids about the “world’s oldest breastfeeding mom,” and I’d definitely read that story!
Wow. Congratulations?
Yes, it is amazing news! I’m nurturing a brain inside my body! In honor of this miracle, please raise a glass of champagne or send good vibes my way. And kindly avoid suggesting names for this little one, because that’s a very personal decision.