By: Jamie Thompson
Last weekend, I took my kids for bagels after swim class, and as we approached the counter, my little one spotted some cookies. I could feel the inevitable moment creeping up on me.
“Cookie!” he shouted, pointing with glee. “COOKIE!”
I calmly explained that a bagel slathered with cream cheese was more than enough for breakfast time. Cookies could wait for another day. Of course, my toddler didn’t take this news well. He shook his head and started yelling “No!” with all the drama of a Broadway star. Trouble was brewing.
Then, out of nowhere, a hand appeared from behind the counter, holding a massive, sprinkle-covered cookie. “Here, buddy! Have a cookie on the house!” the store owner said, handing it directly to my son.
Now, I found myself in a rather uncomfortable position. I typically don’t reward my kids for throwing fits. As the second child, my son is already aware that his whining often falls on deaf ears while I’m busy mentally recapping my favorite movie. My “no cookie” decision was basically non-negotiable.
Yet, how could I argue with someone trying to be sweet, even if it was misguided? Plus, if I snatched that cookie away, I could easily trigger a meltdown that would be the stuff of viral videos. And all this with a line of bagel lovers watching the chaos unfold.
Of course, I know these aren’t valid reasons to ignore my parenting principles. However, after a morning filled with wrestling two kids in and out of swimsuits, lifting my 30-pound toddler during circle time, and chasing him in nothing but a towel, I was worn out. So, my son kept the cookie, and I held my tongue. Sometimes, that’s just how life goes.
To all you well-meaning strangers out there, I have a little request. Please trust that I’ve got this parenting gig under control. If you spot one of my kids having a meltdown in the cereal aisle or rolling around on the floor at Target, know that I have a plan — even if that plan is to keep myself from collapsing into a blubbering mess.
I understand you want to help, truly. But when you see me with a cranky child, please avoid doing any of the following:
- Handing them a lollipop, cookie, or other treat while saying, “Don’t worry, kid. Your mom is just a meanie!”
- Telling my daughter, “If you behave, I’m sure your Mommy will buy you that overpriced Frozen toy!”
- Giving me a disapproving glance as if you’re about to call Child Protective Services because I won’t let my toddler have a shiny tub of foot powder he grabbed off the shelf.
Even with the best intentions, interfering with my parenting makes life harder for all of us. It sends mixed signals to my kids, making them think that if they scream and shout, they’ll get what they want. If you really want to assist, a sympathetic smile goes a long way in helping me maintain my sanity while dealing with a 2-year-old who has a cookie and a big dream.
Or, even better, if the kids aren’t looking, hand me that cookie. Unlike my pint-sized negotiators, I’ve actually earned it.
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Summary:
In the world of parenting, navigating the interactions with well-meaning strangers can be challenging, especially when it comes to rewarding children’s bad behavior. This humorous piece highlights the struggles of maintaining discipline while dealing with unsolicited help and the importance of setting boundaries for the sake of consistent parenting.