Wasting My Time
Listen, I’m not interested in watching your wedding video. Remember that trip I took seven years ago? I flew across the country, booked a hotel for three nights, and even brought you a gift. If I want to revisit that evening, I’ll ask for the video.
Orderly Direction
Hey, you’ve already ordered your sandwich at the deli—now kindly step aside and let the rest of us get our food. Trust me, you’ll get served just as quickly if you don’t block the counter like you’re trying to score a rebound. MOVE!
Invaded Personal Space
Dear gas station attendant, when you hand me my change, I intentionally place my hand just below yours to avoid any accidental touching. It’s nothing personal; I just prefer not to have my hands brush against strangers.
Disingenuousness
Do you know what “disingenuous” means? It’s when you keep apologizing for checking your phone during dinner. I get it, you need to send one more text, but spare me the excuses. I’d rather you simply be rude than pretend to care about my feelings.
Loud Eating
Tammy Crunch, can we talk about your popcorn habits? I’m trying to enjoy a movie, but it sounds like you’re wrestling with a bag of cats. Seriously, half of your popcorn ends up everywhere except your mouth. Please, for the love of quiet, try to chew with your mouth closed!
Inefficiency
To the guy in front of me at the Taco Bell drive-thru, you’ve been at the ordering window for five minutes. This isn’t your first time at a fast-food joint, right? Taco Bell hasn’t changed their menu in decades—how hard can it be to decide?
Playing Me
Hey, Lisa, it’s nice to hear from you after a year! But if you’re calling me to ask for a favor, can you just ask right away? I’d appreciate your honesty over this roundabout chit-chat. I’m way more likely to help if you’re upfront about it.
Poor Call Screening
And please, don’t text me “what’s up” right after I call you and you didn’t answer. Either call me back or stop pretending you missed my call. It’s just confusing!
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In summary, as I grow older, my tolerance for trivialities and rudeness diminishes. I value efficiency, honesty, and respect for personal space, and these are some things I simply can’t overlook anymore.