In today’s world, finding quality “family time” can feel like an uphill battle. It often means dragging everyone away from their individual interests to engage in traditional activities like playing cards, Scrabble, or even tennis. After a few hours of this forced togetherness, it’s not uncommon for everyone to retreat to their own corners, glued to their devices.
This kind of obligatory family bonding can be likened to what military personnel refer to as “mandatory fun”—those events you can’t skip, whether it’s a wedding, a work gathering, or a school talent show. The challenge is that these moments often don’t feel enjoyable, and they can add more stress than they relieve. For every family that successfully establishes a “Pizza and Game Night,” there’s another that struggles to coordinate a simple meal together.
Having spent over two decades as an Army officer, my husband and I raised our two daughters in an environment where moving was as routine as losing baby teeth. With uncertainty about how long we’d stay in one place and family members often living in different time zones, our perspective on family began to shift.
Similar to other professions that require frequent relocation—like academics or healthcare—military families understand that letting go of rigid schedules can lead to discovering meaningful family moments in the chaos of everyday life. Here are three lessons your family can adopt to make the most of your time together:
1. Everyday Activities Can Be Quality Time.
Your family unit is a small but powerful world. Embrace the simple joys of doing mundane tasks together, whether it’s navigating to a new doctor’s office with a wailing child in the backseat or finding that oddly named piece of furniture in the maze known as Ikea. You don’t need to be an event planner to enjoy time together—just be a parent.
2. Foster Connections with Nearby Loved Ones.
Don’t stress if you can’t always visit your parents for the holidays. While distant relatives may have your heart, they often miss out on the everyday moments—school concerts, weekend hangouts, or those evenings when you desperately need a babysitter. Invest time in nurturing relationships with those nearby, even if one carpool mom drives you up the wall with her incessant religious discussions. Create your own holiday celebrations with close family friends.
3. Cherish Cozy Moments at Home.
During one of our assignments in Texas, we found a lovely home with a pool under a majestic live oak tree. I cherish those summer Friday nights when my husband was free from work. We’d whip up a pitcher of margaritas while our girls prepared a picnic of juice boxes, cheese sticks, and apple slices. We’d lounge in the pool, soaking in the warmth and laughter. Whether you have a spacious living room, a beautiful backyard, or a comfy bed perfect for lazy Sundays, embrace those moments spent together.
Military families learn that life isn’t always easy, so when things go well, it’s essential to treasure those times. This is a lesson that non-military families can certainly benefit from. My husband has been retired for a few years now, and our daughters are growing up fast. Still, I look forward to making more memories, perhaps around a pool this summer—assuming I can manage to schedule it!
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Summary
Finding meaningful family time can often be a challenge, but by embracing the lessons learned from military families—like appreciating everyday moments, nurturing local relationships, and cherishing cozy gatherings—you can strengthen your family bonds in a fun and fulfilling way.