It’s all too easy to glance at the mother of That Kid and wonder what’s going on in her life. Why can’t she get it together? Is it really that tough to get a six-year-old to jot down ten spelling words each week? I mean, isn’t there an endless sea of Pinterest boards filled with adorable ways to keep track of eyeglasses so they don’t vanish at night? Surely, there’s a way to establish a system for organizing books so they don’t get lost forever.
Other moms seem to be nailing these goals; what’s my deal?
I’ve been on both sides of the coin. When my eldest, Zach, was in kindergarten, I was the quintessential Other Mother. We stressed over homework, labored over science projects, and meticulously kept track of reading logs. I signed forms, laid out clothes the night before school, and even kept a stack of library books by the door—all while juggling his younger sister and a surprise pregnancy. We were frazzled, but I felt like the ultimate mom, the one who had it all together.
But then, chaos struck. On Zach’s first day of first grade, his little brother was born three months early. Suddenly, the urgency of homework and science projects faded away. Our family went into survival mode. How does one juggle a two-pound infant, a rambunctious toddler, and a six-year-old? And how do you do it with little to no sleep, oscillating between home and the NICU?
As time passed, our challenges escalated. Our home turned into a hub for medical supplies and 24-hour nursing care. Homework? That was the least of our worries. Everyday life became a blur, with our focus narrowing to just making it through each day.
Fast forward a few years, and the storm has passed. The once fragile baby, who spent countless days in the hospital, is now a healthy little boy. We’re back to what you might call “normal,” and now he’s in first grade with his own homework to tackle. Sure, I could pay more attention to homework, but I’ve spent years focusing on far more pressing matters.
I understand the importance of homework in teaching kids responsibility, but the urgency behind it? That’s just noise to me. As a grown woman, I’m learning to show my children that while homework is important, so is prioritizing one’s well-being. Maybe I come off as a know-it-all in Doc Martens and flannel, but honestly, I’m okay with that.
I’m working on finding the right balance between what’s important and what’s not. I’m teaching my kids that saying no is perfectly fine and won’t ruin their lives. Of course, they need to learn responsibility and respect for others’ things, like a borrowed Pokemon book from school, but they also need to know that life goes on even if they don’t nail every assignment. Sometimes, after a long day of learning, a little Minecraft break before tackling spelling words is completely acceptable.
I know this might spark debate, but I stand firm in my beliefs. Some things are worth stressing about; first-grade homework isn’t one of them. And if that means I’m the mom of That Kid, I wear that title like a badge of honor.
Summary
Embracing the role of a less-than-perfect parent can be freeing. The author reflects on the chaos of motherhood and how surviving a tough situation has shaped her perspective on childhood responsibilities. While homework is important, it shouldn’t overshadow a child’s overall well-being and happiness.