Updated: May 18, 2020
Originally Published: March 22, 2015
A quarter-century ago, Pretty Woman waltzed into our lives on March 23, 1990. Back then, I was just a 15-year-old navigating the murky waters of teenage romance, which, to be honest, was more like standing still at the starting line. I had yet to score my first boyfriend, share a kiss, or experience any of those awkward moments that could pass for a relationship. At that time, the romantic comedy genre was also slowly clawing its way back to life, thanks to the success of When Harry Met Sally the previous year. Then Pretty Woman hit theaters, raking in a jaw-dropping $463 million, and suddenly rom-coms were everywhere, doubling their presence in Hollywood throughout the ’80s and ’90s. For a girl like me with no real dating experience, Pretty Woman and its countless imitations became my unofficial guidebook on relationships.
Honestly, I can’t even imagine my teenage years without Pretty Woman shaping my perspective, which might sound melodramatic, but it’s true. Julia Roberts’ character, Vivian, often finds herself wrestling with her feelings for Edward Lewis, a suave businessman played by Richard Gere who hires her for a week as his “escort.” For years, I didn’t realize how much this movie had influenced my skewed views on romance, as I found myself mirroring its dysfunction in my own life.
Let’s be clear: I’m not just talking about the well-trodden clichés of a hooker with a heart of gold or the notion of a woman needing saving. Pretty Woman has often been criticized for its outdated gender politics, but its insights into relationships are surprisingly relevant. Classic Hollywood romance often celebrated the playful tension between the sexes, whereas the banter in Pretty Woman is downright passive-aggressive. For instance, Edward’s quips about Vivian’s profession—like mocking her for her safety pin—illustrate a troubling dynamic that many of us have experienced in real life.
Remember the scene where Edward reveals to his sleazy lawyer that Vivian is a sex worker? The ensuing fight between them echoes every tumultuous quarrel I had in my early dating years. Vivian’s line, “I’m sorry I ever met you,” is something we’ve all said or thought at some point. These moments highlight how we can get caught up in tests and games rather than genuine communication.
Movies often skip over healthy conflict resolution, which can lead to unrealistic expectations about relationships. Instead of advocating for honest discussions, they present fighting as a dramatic spectacle, where the goal is often about winning rather than understanding. It’s no wonder I carried around a distorted image of what a fight should look like, believing it was about saying everything except what I truly felt.
Despite her flaws, Vivian is arguably the original Manic Pixie Dream Girl, or perhaps even the “Cool Girl” archetype made famous in Gone Girl. She embodies the exhausting pressure of conforming to someone else’s expectations, constantly evaluating which parts of herself would be acceptable to Edward, who rarely appreciates her for who she is. When she finally tosses that ridiculous wig aside to reveal her natural hair, Edward’s comment isn’t a compliment; it’s a judgment. It’s maddening!
Yet, I found myself drawn to guys like Edward—charming, intellectually stimulating, and undeniably self-absorbed. These relationships often left me feeling like the damaged one, living in their world and trying to pass their tests. If I wasn’t a hooker with a heart of gold, I was definitely a woman with a fierce will, often caught in a web of denial.
What frustrates me most about Pretty Woman is how it trivializes Vivian’s desire for a real partnership. Her wish for a balanced relationship with Edward is reduced to a childish fairytale fantasy about being saved, instead of being recognized for her own agency. In the end, Vivian tells Edward she will “rescue him right back,” but honestly, I wish she’d just hurl him off her fire escape instead.
If you’re curious to explore more about home insemination, check out this insightful resource from the CDC, which covers various aspects of pregnancy and fertility. For those considering self-insemination, you might find Cryobaby’s home insemination syringe kit a great option to consider. And if you’re looking for additional tips on the journey to motherhood, don’t miss our other blog post about home insemination kits!
In summary, Pretty Woman may have been a romantic staple, but it also reflects the complexities and dysfunctions that many of us encounter in real life. The film can serve as an unintentional guide on what not to do in relationships, reminding us to seek out genuine connections rather than unrealistic expectations.