Parenting
Not too long ago, I found myself diving deep into discussions on the Baby Center Down Syndrome Board. It was a whirlwind of questions, heartfelt comments, and endless threads filled with joy and sorrow. Among the many posts, one particular signature resonated with me: “I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I had one.” I still don’t know who first shared that sentiment—anyone have an idea?—but it struck a chord within me.
At that time, I pondered the love behind those words, curious if I would ever feel the same. Would I ever embrace those words—not because I was the first to say them, but because I could genuinely understand their meaning? It was difficult for me to accept the reality of cognitive disabilities in my child.
Now, as I reflect on my daughter, Moxie, who is three years old, I can wholeheartedly say: I never realized I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until she came into my life. Oh, how we adore her!
It’s not just who she is; it’s also what that little extra chromosome brings along. Some of her quirks and the traits we cherish most about her are shared by others in our community. For instance, she has an incredible ability to sense my emotions. While she isn’t overly affectionate—usually keeping her distance—there are moments when I find myself feeling down. In those times, she can sense my sadness and will come over, gently cup my face in her tiny hands, and plant a tender kiss on my cheek. My child, my heart.
Admittedly, I was once quite skeptical. During my pregnancy with Moxie, I encountered countless stories of mothers extolling the joys of raising children with Down Syndrome. I thought to myself, “That’s nice for them, but I’d prefer a child without Down Syndrome, thanks.” Deep down, I struggled to believe anyone could truly embrace an intellectual disability or find anything positive about it.
Even as I type this, I think back to who I was and wonder how my old friends might react to this. Are they thinking I’ve changed dramatically, or that I’m just putting on a facade? Let me make it clear: I’ve evolved.
Some might argue that my acceptance of Moxie is easy because she’s “high functioning” or whatever term they choose to use. Honestly, I detest labels like “high functioning” or “low functioning,” as they often reduce individuals to mere categories based on how they fit into societal norms. The truth is, Moxie isn’t what anyone would classify as “high functioning.” As of now, at over three years old, she can maybe utter five words. While she comprehends nearly everything we say, her verbal expression is limited.
Moxie is simply a little girl who happens to have Down Syndrome. That extra chromosome is part of her identity—and the more I learn about her, the more I love every aspect of who she is. It’s a love that goes beyond words.
I never knew I wanted a child with Down Syndrome until I got her. And now, I can’t imagine life any other way.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the unexpected joys of raising a child with Down Syndrome. The author shares personal experiences of growth and realization, expressing a deep love for her daughter, Moxie, and challenging preconceived notions about intellectual disabilities.