What I initially intended to write was a heartfelt tribute to the ukulele—a small, cheerful instrument that’s as affordable as it is delightful. Learning to play the ukulele is accessible for anyone, and having one around the house has become one of my greatest joys.
My son often brings it along for car rides, strumming along to Stromae or even to my Joni Mitchell playlist. My partner occasionally picks it up to create an impromptu tune about our cluttered living room. At gatherings, there’s always someone who strums the ukulele to that beloved version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, and I can’t help but feel a swell of happiness. The message I wanted to share was simple: you should definitely get a ukulele.
But then, my oldest and dearest friend—my soul companion for 43 years—passed away, and my message shifted. In the absence of organized religion, I discovered that music has become my sacred space.
After her passing, once I had delivered her eulogy and returned home from New York, friends gathered. I refer to them as “The Crew.” They came bearing food, offering comfort, and helping us navigate our grief. We enjoyed just the right amount of wine and a bit too much of a Polish honey liqueur that smelled oddly reminiscent of cat pee. Laughter mingled with tears as I shared stories from my friend’s final days, and we even played a round of Boggle.
Then, like magic, my son sat down at the piano, and soon, others joined in with various instruments, leading us to sing together. This group is a mixture of incredible talent and those of us who simply love to express ourselves, regardless of skill. The essence of it all is the melody and harmony we create together.
We belted out Joni Mitchell’s “River,” The Beatles’ “Let It Be,” Fleetwood Mac’s “Songbird,” and every beautiful verse of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” Lyrics were printed out for various songs, while the teens busily searched for others on their phones. It was pure joy, a slice of heaven on earth.
Recommended Tracks for Your Next Gathering
Music is something we often share, usually gathering to celebrate, but sometimes in times of sorrow. We host hootenannies where musicians bring their guitars, banjos, and yes, even ukuleles, to play the songs we cherish. I recommend these fantastic tracks for your next gathering:
- “I’ll Fly Away” by Alison Krauss
- “Kick Drum Heart” by Avett Brothers
- “When My Time Comes” by Dawes
- “Pecan Pie” by Wilco
- “Kids” by MGMT
- “Goddamn Lonely Love” by Drive-By Truckers
- “Ho Hey” by The Lumineers
- “Hey Ya” by OutKast
- “Shady Grove” (traditional)
- “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
- “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” (Guns N’ Roses version)
Not your style? No problem! Feel free to mix it up with whatever suits your taste. Sometimes, each family shares a song beforehand, allowing musicians to learn their parts while those of us with less talent can simply enjoy the music. Whether it’s The Beatles’ “I Will” or Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” we all participate. Occasionally, a teen brings a trumpet, another plays the cello. It’s always just what I need; it’s what you need too—so gather your friends, print some lyrics, and make music together. If people can play instruments, fantastic! If not, just sing along.
During my friend’s last moments in hospice, the experience of death was nothing like the calm lily I had envisioned. Instead, it was a fierce creature she fought against. But a lovely music therapist arrived with her guitar, soothing us with tunes like “Across the Universe” and “Such Great Heights.” My friend smiled, and we found peace in those melodies. At her service days later, the cantor sang “You Must Believe in Spring” with a clarity that brought hope.
While music doesn’t offer the comforts of organized religion—heaven, an afterlife, or a neat narrative—it does provide something profound. If you’re searching for the meaning of life, it’s right here, in song: a connection, a celebration, and a sense of the sacred. As Leonard Cohen beautifully put it, “And even though it all went wrong / I’ll stand before the Lord of Song / With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.” Hallelujah indeed.
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In summary, music offers us a way to connect, heal, and celebrate life, especially in our times of deepest sorrow. Don’t hesitate to gather friends, share songs, and create beautiful memories together.