Yesterday, I stepped into my 49th year, and it got me thinking about the nine invaluable lessons I’ve gathered along the way.
Back when I was a sprightly 29, freshly married and navigating the thrilling chaos of new motherhood while transitioning from war photography to the world of TV news, the future seemed like a distant fantasy. Little did I know that two decades later, I’d find myself sharing my life experiences through an online platform. I never imagined I’d be separated from my spouse, awaiting divorce proceedings while managing sole custody of my children. I’ve published memoirs and novels, and I can even toss around the phrase “New York Times bestselling” without feeling too boastful—though it still feels a bit odd. My life has taken unexpected turns, leaving me feeling unanchored yet more at peace than ever before.
What Does 49 Look Like?
Take my birthday morning, for instance. It wasn’t your standard start to a day, but it was still familiar enough. My 18-year-old daughter surprised me with breakfast in bed, which was promptly devoured by my 8-year-old son, who was sporting a shower cap after a DIY blue hair dye job. A cute certificate from my daughter was taped to the mirror, promising five nights of dishwashing without a single complaint, a thoughtful gift since we’re currently dishwasher-less.
After an hour of yoga in the living room—interrupted by my son reminding me I was supposed to be the snack mom this week (oops, my bad)—I dropped him off at school and rushed to the grocery store, hoping our dog wouldn’t be stolen while I was inside. I returned to school with exactly $49 worth of snacks (seriously, universe, nice trick), dropped off the dog, and grabbed my laptop for work. I usually like to have at least 500 words written by the time I reach the office, and today was no exception.
Later, a friend treated me to lunch and a Broadway show, surprising me with four more friends who dropped in to celebrate. I am truly lucky to have such wonderful friends. Instead of heading back to the office after the show, I took the afternoon off since it was the first day of spring in New York City. As a full-time single mom, finding time for myself is a rarity. I strolled over three miles from the theater to Tribeca along the High Line, jamming out to the Rolling Stones and Mozart.
That’s what 49 looks like for me—a delightful mix of the ordinary and extraordinary. I believe many of us can relate, no matter your relationship status or whether you have kids. Would I have chosen this life, this constant state of change, if I’d known about it at 29? Not a chance! But here I am, embracing it fully, and discovering unexpected joys about middle age, such as:
- Health and youth are often more about mindset than physical state. Stay youthful inside, and it shines through on the outside.
- Dating post-marriage is not only easier thanks to technology but can actually be enjoyable too.
- Shame is a pointless emotion. There’s no shame in asking for help or taking some time for yourself to recharge.
- Kids evolve from draining your energy to enriching your life, becoming incredible companions for a fleeting moment in time.
- The idea of a single soulmate is a myth; love can blossom again at any age.
- Long-standing friendships can be a beautiful source of warmth and support.
- Growth and learning never cease; adulting doesn’t mean you stop evolving.
- Whatever you imagined life at 49 would be, it’s likely to be completely different.
- Finding joy in your work is not an unattainable dream; it truly is within reach.
And you know what I cherish most about being 49? Writing for you. It brings me immense joy, and I’m grateful to every one of you for reading. Let’s reconvene here when I hit the big 5-0, shall we?
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In summary, turning 49 has been a journey of unexpected lessons, a mix of personal growth and delightful surprises. Here’s to embracing change, forging ahead, and sharing stories along the way.