If you’re new to New England winters, brace yourself. Here are ten signs that you might be drowning in snow:
- Since January, you’ve spent more time at home than in the office or classroom. Snow days and flu days have kept you indoors so long that you’ve run out of tissues, resorting to using pages from the IKEA catalog to wipe your nose.
- Your car’s been through the wringer. Whether you’ve found yourself stuck in a snowbank, blown a tire in a pothole, or developed serious road rage from dodging drivers who think they can handle winter, your vehicle has taken a beating.
- Personal hygiene? What’s that? Your car is now buried under a mountain of snow, so who needs pajamas? You’ve convinced yourself that your current aroma keeps your body heat in. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t, and you probably smell like a wet dog.
- Your drinking habits have taken a nosedive. With nothing else to do, you’ve binged on Netflix, and by now, you’ve polished off everything from wine to top-shelf liquor. You’re down to crème de menthe, which has now doubled as mouthwash.
- Your eating habits have also spiraled out of control. Who cares if your jeans are snug? You’re living in a cozy sweatshirt and pajama bottoms, baking and munching as if food is a warm hug.
- Your trip to the hardware store was a total flop. After finally clearing off your car and navigating the treacherous roads, you discover that finding essentials like rock salt or a roof rake is nearly impossible. If it’s not on Amazon Prime, it may as well be a unicorn.
- Trash management has become a nightmare. With pickups delayed, your porch is now an eyesore of trash bags and empty liquor bottles. You’ve turned your space into a recycling center for broken-down Amazon boxes.
- Your parenting skills have hit rock bottom. You’ve exhausted all ideas for keeping kids entertained during the cold. At your lowest, you’ll resort to letting your toddler play with a Tupperware full of popcorn kernels while you zone out in front of eight hours of Caillou.
- You’ve forgotten how to socialize. Every appointment has been canceled, and you’ve turned down any invite that requires parking. When you finally see a familiar face, you might just hug them and burst into tears. The mail carrier is now avoiding you.
- The flooding doesn’t even faze you. As the snow begins to melt, and water seeps into your basement and through your windows, you convince yourself that your house is just crying tears of joy.
For more insights on navigating these challenges and understanding the intricacies of home insemination, check out our other blog posts like this one about advertiser disclosure. And don’t miss this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re exploring ways to boost your fertility, check out these supplements.
In summary, surviving extreme snow in New England is a unique experience filled with challenges that only locals truly understand. From dodging snowbank mishaps to navigating grocery store shortages, it’s a winter wonderland like no other.