Life should be innocent, genuine, and straightforward. I watch my daughter, Lily, and her friend, Mia, as they playfully style each other’s hair. At just 8 years old, they haven’t yet realized that this innocent game of “salon” is a sneak peek into the world of beauty. For them, it’s simply two girls having fun during a sleepover. There’s no rivalry, no harsh judgments, and no envy—just laughter. Occasionally, they bicker, but they always make up quickly.
While I cherish these moments, I can’t help but think about my role as a counselor. My mind drifts to the future, imagining Lily and Mia—now teenagers—sitting in my office, feeling small and afraid to face their peers in the hallways. They might feel isolated and ashamed, looking to me for the magic words to help them navigate the challenging world that teenage girls often endure.
I take a moment to escape that daunting reality—the one where girls are left second-guessing their friendships and constantly wondering who supports them. It’s a harsh world where they spend more time looking back than looking ahead, frightened to voice their fears.
Returning to the present, I’m greeted by a different scene: one filled with trust and openness. These girls aren’t concerned about their standing with each other; they feel safe expressing their thoughts. There’s no fear that their honesty will be weaponized against them. They admire each other and lift one another up instead of tearing each other down.
They’re blissfully unaware of social media pressures like Snapchat and Instagram, and they haven’t encountered the painful fallout of a ruined reputation at the click of a button. Concepts like “backstabbing” remain foreign to them, and they have yet to discover the painful realities that can accompany adolescence, like self-harm or suicidal thoughts. They still believe their bodies are their own, and self-doubt hasn’t crept in to cloud their confidence.
Their mantra is simple yet powerful: “I am a girl. I am smart and strong. I can do anything.”
As I work with teenage girls, I often envision Lily. After 15 years in this field, I can’t help but see these girls as if they were my own. I strive daily to help them recognize their beauty and worth, sitting knee-to-knee, hoping they’ll perceive themselves as I see them. They are daughters, sisters, and friends, perfect in countless ways, yet they often feel flawed.
I wonder where that doubt originates. When do they begin to lose sight of who they are and start believing the negative words of others? On tough days, I extend my hand to them, acknowledging that sometimes we simply sit together in silence. We realize there are moments beyond our control, and the damage has been done.
In those quiet moments, they must begin to rediscover their self-belief. They should remember what it felt like to be carefree like an 8-year-old girl brushing her friend’s hair. They need to trust that genuine friendships still exist and that they are enough. They must tell themselves they are worthy, valuable, beautiful, capable, and amazing.
As I write this, I hear the familiar giggles of Lily and Mia in the next room, whispering secrets beneath a pile of blankets. Peeking through the doorway, I see them huddled together, free to express themselves without fear of judgment or cruelty. I notice a flashlight illuminating a diary—words that speak of a world where girls are strong, kind, capable, and happy. Reading their innocent thoughts restores my hope for the world our girls are growing up in.
I want to share these words with those who need them most. “I am a girl. I am funny, smart, a good dancer, and a loyal friend. I have a kind smile. I like myself,” she reads. In that moment, I see a glimmer of hope—a smile forms, and a tear rolls down her cheek as she confides, “I want to feel like that again.”
Hope is alive, and we can help shape a brighter future for our daughters.
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Summary
This heartfelt message from a mother reflects on the innocence and strength of young girls while expressing concern for the challenges they will face as teenagers. It emphasizes the importance of self-belief and genuine friendships, offering a glimpse of hope through the eyes of childhood.