It all started with a lump. At first, I wasn’t too concerned; I had a benign cyst in the same area just the year before. I called my doctor and scheduled an appointment. When I saw the nurse practitioner at my OBGYN’s office, she felt the lump and assured me it seemed like the same cyst. She suggested we just monitor it for a few months. But I wasn’t satisfied with that. I insisted on getting an ultrasound. Thank goodness I did.
The ultrasound revealed two concerning areas, leading to a biopsy. The procedure was a bit of a nightmare; they struggled to numb the area, and I felt every prick of the needle. Initially, they told me it looked benign, reassuring me that 90% of lumps in women my age turn out to be harmless. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, and so did my partner, Sam.
The very next day, while out shopping, I received a call that changed everything. One lump was indeed benign, but the other was invasive ductal carcinoma. That phone call came just before Thanksgiving, and I’ll never forget it. Sam and I were together, and we shared that moment of shock and sorrow. I called my mom first, tearfully confessing that I had cancer. Watching my family grapple with this has been incredibly difficult. I felt like I was robbing them of their joy. My dad took the kids for a while to shield them from our despair, while Sam and I just held each other and cried, promising we’d face this together.
There have certainly been moments when I’ve thought, “This isn’t fair.” But honestly, it is. My life has been filled with blessings. I often say, “Something has to go wrong; everything is just too perfect.”
I was raised in a loving family, where my parents always prioritized my brother and me. They are kind, generous, and know exactly what I need when I need it. I’ve had every opportunity to learn and grow, attended great schools, traveled the world, and built meaningful connections. I’ve fallen in love with my soulmate and have a job I adore—one I’d do for free. I see light where others see darkness and feel happy 98% of the time. I’ve run marathons, written poems that resonate with me, and created a home filled with love. I’m surrounded by wonderful neighbors who share wine with me on a whim and friends who remind me to embrace my silly side. Most importantly, I’ve given life to two incredible kids who bring magic into my world every day.
Working with at-risk youth has opened my eyes to what real unfairness looks like. Unfair is being judged for your skin color or facing abuse and neglect. I know what unfairness is.
Yes, I have cancer, and it absolutely sucks. No sugarcoating that. But it’s not unfair; it’s simply a part of life. I am equipped with everything I need to fight this battle: a stellar medical team, a rock-solid support system, health insurance, and the determination to overcome it. I will get through this.
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In conclusion, while cancer is a tough journey, it doesn’t overshadow the beauty and blessings life has offered me.