Suddenly, it feels like time has slipped away from us. Every day is more jam-packed than my overflowing laundry basket—a sight I avoid like the plague, as if it’s glaring at me in judgment with socks tumbling out. Modern life has a humorous take on the notion of time—how to find enough of it, how to spend it wisely, and the endless chatter about achieving BALANCE. Workdays somehow stretch hours beyond what they should, and our kids are already on their way to becoming time-starved little versions of ourselves.
We are busy. Or at least we are very busy telling everyone just how busy we are. Who has time for actual time management? Who has the bandwidth to implement another system? I certainly don’t. And I bet you don’t either! We’re all swamped!
Each day feels like a frantic dash to the finish line, and I often find it hard to remember what I intended to accomplish when I woke up. I’m pretty sure my plans included a to-do list of tasks I aimed to tackle—like prioritizing deadlines, scheduling that long-overdue mammogram, or facing the writing project that feels like a horror film character lurking in the background. (I’d elaborate on that metaphorical Babadook, but alas, I have no time—feel free to look it up instead of scheduling that appointment or whatever blissful errand you’ve been avoiding.)
I had a mental note of people I wanted to reach out to about stuff that seemed crucial while showering, but those thoughts quickly evaporated under the weight of daily distractions. Was it this morning I bit into a leftover piece of English muffin my daughter abandoned, or did I mistakenly consume an overly caffeinated beverage while I blasted Cheerios into oblivion instead of simply scooping them from the sink? I’m not sure, but I stood there gazing out at the frozen yard, lamenting the dead bushes I didn’t have time to protect from winter. I even considered the metaphor of it all for a moment before planning to visit my friend, an acupuncturist, to needle away my stress.
And then, a text notification jolted me back to reality, and I completely forgot about my needle-related healing plans.
I don’t think we stray far from our inherent time-management styles. Whatever method we naturally adopt to get things done typically predicts how we will continue to operate. As a kid, I was horrified by my brother’s comical procrastination. Watching him cram weeks of homework into frantic all-nighters sent my nerves into overdrive. I’d see him gather crumpled papers and half-eaten snacks while tackling tasks he could have managed over time. It was like a live circus show at our kitchen table.
I prided myself on my checklists and early-morning productivity, but in the end, without any effective time-management strategies, my brother outperformed me academically, attended better schools, landed a more impressive job, and now, he’s far more successful than I’ll ever be. I have my neatly organized lists, though. So, it’s clear we haven’t changed much over the years—and I bet you haven’t either.
7 Outrageously Impractical Tips for Managing Your Time
Since I don’t believe in time-management tips that actually enhance your life, consider these as ways to cope with the guilt of feeling perpetually short on time:
- Let go of some things. Today, you’re either finishing a work project or whipping up a homemade creation. You can’t do both—so celebrate that!
- If you opt for getting paid, send your laundry out. Trust me, that overflowing hamper won’t bully you anymore. Everything will return neatly folded, as if tiny robots with pincer hands did it. Don’t waste a moment feeling guilty about spending money on this classic time-saving luxury.
- When life gets busy, other people can start to annoy you. Pick a group to not be irritated by—maybe your kids, for example. I know, I know; they can be annoying! But your frustration with them leads to over-scheduling and making them equally busy. Soon enough, they’ll leave to create their own exciting lives, and you’ll find yourself missing them in that quiet home with a half-full hamper.
- It’s perfectly fine to push some tasks to tomorrow.
- Except for planning your vacation—do that now! Just thinking about it will ease your stress, making you nicer to everyone and less cranky.
- I know you won’t heed this advice, but looking back, you might regret spending time posting meticulously curated moments online for the same people to ‘Like’ in a transactional way. Seriously, you’ll feel less busy if you stop curating and posting. I’m wasting my time even suggesting it, but hey, you do you!
- Believe me when I say you’re doing a great job. You’re trying your best most of the time. Aim to work less and embrace a bit of nothingness more often.
These may just be the worst tips you’ve ever received. If you take them to heart, you might spectacularly fail at life. But remember, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. At the very least, you can be assured that the last few minutes of your life were spent in a worthwhile way.
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Summary
Life can feel overwhelmingly busy, and traditional time-management tips often fall short. Instead, try embracing a more relaxed attitude toward your tasks. Let go of what you can’t accomplish, prioritize what matters, and give yourself permission to do less. Remember, you’re doing better than you think!