Hey there, mama who didn’t breastfeed,
Maybe your little one didn’t latch on, no matter how hard you tried. Maybe it felt like you were wrestling a cactus every time you attempted it. Perhaps you received conflicting advice from everyone under the sun—hospital staff, your obstetrician, your best friend, or even your own mom! Maybe you just weren’t into the idea of breastfeeding from the start.
Perhaps something happened that’s entirely personal, making the thought of nursing seem daunting or even unappealing. Maybe your milk supply was more like a trickle than a flow, and you never quite figured it out. Or maybe you’re an adoptive mom and breastfeeding wasn’t in the cards for you.
You might have experimented with every gadget imaginable, only to feel more disconnected from your body, leading you to decide enough was enough. Or perhaps a medical condition or medication made nursing impossible.
Maybe the struggles were overwhelming, and for the sake of your mental health, you had to step back. Or maybe, simply put, breastfeeding just wasn’t your cup of tea.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You don’t need to justify your decisions. (Though if you want to talk, I’m all ears!) You don’t have to figure out why things didn’t go as planned—I’m here to help if you want to explore that together.
Sometimes you might catch yourself replaying what-ifs in your mind: If only you’d consulted a lactation expert; if only things had gone differently during childbirth; if only you had recognized and addressed postpartum depression sooner; if only you’d waited for that chaotic early motherhood phase to settle down.
If you feel a pang of sorrow because breastfeeding didn’t work out, know that I understand. It’s a primal instinct for mothers to breastfeed, and when it doesn’t happen, it can feel pretty traumatic. But you are not alone in feeling that way.
On the flip side, you might feel completely at peace with your decision not to breastfeed. And that’s perfectly fine too! If you consciously chose bottle-feeding and found joy in its convenience, own that feeling.
Whatever your journey looks like—regrets, acceptance, or a mix of both—I want you to know this: breastfeeding is about so much more than just the milk. Sure, breastmilk is packed with antibodies and nutrition, but if you didn’t give your baby any, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You are doing everything possible to keep your baby healthy. Love is what makes you a mother, and you will do anything for your little one.
Breastfeeding is about nurturing, about holding your baby close, gazing into each other’s eyes in wonder. It’s about connection and touch, the bond between two souls that have finally found each other.
You can hold your child in your arms and feel that sense of safety and love regardless of how you choose to feed them. Period.
It’s high time we put an end to the judgment and shame surrounding feeding choices. Love is what truly matters. So let’s choose love over fear and connection over division. Let’s reach out to one another for support when we need it, hold our babies close, and savor those sweet baby scents. Let’s breathe together and take a moment to simply be.
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Summary
This piece addresses mothers who choose not to breastfeed, acknowledging their experiences, feelings, and choices without judgment. It emphasizes the importance of love and connection over societal pressures surrounding breastfeeding, encouraging open dialogue and support among mothers.