My son recently declared that if a song had the same lyrics but focused on boys, people would label it as sexist. I had to agree with him. This sparked a debate that revealed his confusion about why “girl power” anthems are socially acceptable. He genuinely feels offended by the notion.
This is a kid who has participated in protests at the Texas Capitol and enjoys discussing women’s rights with me—often to the point of landing himself in detention for voicing his thoughts in class. He’s stayed up late cheering on politicians like Wendy Davis and Leticia van de Putte as they challenged the status quo. Yet, he dismisses the concept of girl power as nonsense, feeling that it’s unjust. He’s baffled by Title IX and its significance. As a 12-year-old, I can’t shake the feeling that my Progressive Parent Card might be in jeopardy.
I’ve attempted to explain concepts like glass ceilings and the subtle patriarchal norms that persist in society. I’ve pointed out the importance of initiatives that support girls, yet he’s not convinced. He notices his friends attending all-girls schools, and he’s frustrated about being excluded from girls-only book clubs. He even had a major misunderstanding about lacrosse—thinking only girls had a team, which turned out to be incorrect, but it left him fuming for weeks. He perceives that girls receive preferential treatment, while boys are left to fend for themselves. I’ve tried to clarify that everyone faces challenges, and while progress is being made, it’s still predominantly a man’s world. It’s perfectly acceptable for women to challenge this dynamic to ensure they have an equal chance at success.
I’ve been explaining that it’s not about girls receiving a fair shake (though they often don’t) but rather about getting a different shake entirely. This disparity isn’t always intentional; it’s embedded in societal norms. Thus, creating safe spaces for girls isn’t anti-boy; it’s about empowering them in a world that often tries to hold them down. However, he struggles to grasp this perspective. As a white, middle-class male, he feels overlooked when he hears us belting out Beyoncé lyrics in the car.
This leads me to wonder: Is he feeling this way because he’s been raised to believe that boys and girls are on equal footing? Does he miss the essence of girl power because he assumes everyone has the same rights and opportunities? In defending my views, am I inadvertently teaching him that women are, in fact, second-class citizens?
I certainly don’t want him to grow up thinking that women are inferior and that’s the reason for songs by Beyoncé or Katy Perry. And don’t even get me started on the tricky conversations I have with my 8-year-old daughter about the lyrics of these songs versus the unrealistic beauty standards they promote.
If my son accepts the status quo, he may never realize he’s been influenced by social norms that heavily impact women’s lives. So here I am, feeling stuck. I don’t want to raise a version of Alex P. Keaton who dismisses the feminist movement. I want him to recognize the strides made for women and be aware of the ongoing challenges they face. Most importantly, I want him to understand that he can be part of the solution rather than harboring resentment towards women for perceived advantages.
I’ve openly admitted to him that life isn’t fair for anyone. But how do I help him see that the unfairness is uneven? Being a mom can be tough, and it feels even tougher for kids—especially mine. Sigh.
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In conclusion, it’s a delicate balance to raise an aware and empathetic child in a world that can often feel unjust. As a parent, my aim is to foster understanding and support for all, regardless of gender.