When you find out you’re expecting, it quickly becomes clear that Hollywood’s portrayal of pregnancy is utterly ridiculous. In films, pregnancy is a straightforward adventure that culminates in a dramatic moment: your belly expands, and suddenly there’s a baby. Sure, you might have some cravings and occasional tears, but that’s the extent of it. In reality, pregnancy is a full-body, mind-boggling experience. Yes, you’ll have cravings for pickles at odd hours, deal with stretch marks, and have people trying to touch your belly—often leading to an intense desire to punch them. But there’s so much more that no one talks about. Here are eight things you probably didn’t know about pregnancy…
1. Prepare for Boogers
You might think nose-picking is just for kids, but when you’re pregnant, your body produces mucus like it’s a horror movie. Forget dainty little boogers; you’ll be dealing with some serious nasal monsters. If you have little ones at home, you might want to adjust your expectations about their nose-picking habits.
2. Crazy Dreams Await
Get ready for some truly bizarre dreams! And they won’t be easy to analyze. While I was pregnant with my second, I dreamt that a famous author was teaching me flower arranging in my old middle school classroom. The next night, I found myself being chased by a hobo who had stolen our camera. Expect to wake up in a panic over the most ridiculous scenarios.
3. Stock Up on Underwear
Just because you’re no longer dealing with a monthly cycle doesn’t mean you can skimp on underwear. Forget what the pregnancy guides say about “increased discharge.” You’ll be sweating more than you ever thought possible, particularly in the groin area. Trust me—head over to this link and grab some extra pairs. Your future self will thank you when laundry day rolls around.
4. Nesting Instincts Hit Hard
Everyone talks about the nesting phase, but they don’t prepare you for the wild energy surge it brings. It’s like you’ve chugged three cups of coffee, and suddenly you need to clean, organize, and maybe even rearrange the furniture. You might think exhaustion will stop you, but it won’t. When I was around 20 weeks, I tried to take apart a bed frame by myself. Spoiler: I dropped some furniture on my foot but kept going.
5. Aches and Pains Like Never Before
Your hips will widen, your feet will ache, and you’ll discover that your hands and wrists hurt too. Carpal tunnel syndrome? Yup, that’s a thing. You may be tempted to tough it out, but don’t hesitate to pop a Tylenol. Seriously, it’s better than suffering in silence.
6. Comments About Your Weight Will Flourish
Once you start showing, everyone will have an opinion about your size. If your due date seems far away, you’ll likely be met with comments about being too large. If it’s too soon, others might say you look too thin. During my last pregnancy, a stranger was shocked when I revealed I was only thirteen weeks along. I nearly lost it. When this happens to you, just smile and say you’re not pregnant—you have a rare illness.
7. Rage Might Become Your New Best Friend
Pregnancy can ignite unexpected anger. Someone cuts you off in traffic? They’re endangering your baby on purpose! A stranger says you look like you’re about to pop? They’re clearly a heartless individual. It’s normal to feel intense emotions, so take a breather and listen to some heavy metal music to help you cope.
8. Your Boobs Steal the Show
Yes, they’ll grow and may hurt, but be ready for the fashion world to put them front and center. Most maternity clothes are designed to highlight your chest, so you’ll be flaunting them throughout your pregnancy. And after you give birth? Well, get ready to embrace your new role as a milk producer!
Want to know more about pregnancy? Check out this excellent resource on pregnancy week by week at March of Dimes. And if you’re intrigued by self insemination, we’ve got a great post on that too at Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, pregnancy is a whirlwind experience filled with unexpected surprises, from bizarre dreams to unsolicited comments about your body. It’s a time of physical and emotional change that can be both beautiful and challenging. So arm yourself with knowledge and a good supply of underwear!