As parents, there are times when we stop and think, “Did I really just say that?” It’s even more amusing when we realize those phrases were once uttered by our own parents—things we promised we’d never say. But here we are! Most of us have probably used at least one of these classic lines at some point…
- “Who’s the parent here: Me or you?” Variations of this include: “Who’s in charge?” and “I’m the boss!” If you find yourself saying this, you might already be losing the argument and in desperate need of a timeout. It’s understandable; sometimes we need a little reminder that we’re meant to be the authority figure—especially when it feels like the little ones are running the show 92.843% of the time!
- “Do you want me to turn this car around right now?” Oh, come on. After the two-hour ordeal of getting everyone bundled and buckled? Not a chance!
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” Sure, and Skittles don’t exactly rain from rainbows, either. How about just saying, “No, not today,” and saving the economics lesson for another time? Any kid worth their salt already knows that money is mysteriously embedded in Mommy’s debit card.
- “You need to wear clean underwear every day.” This is usually said while we’re still rocking the same yoga pants from yesterday (and maybe the day before).
- “Want some cheese with that whine?” Um, maybe? Is it string cheese? Because who doesn’t love mozzarella? Puns typically don’t land well with the under-three-foot crowd. And let’s be honest, if you’re not taking your kids to wine and cheese parties, chances are they won’t catch the joke.
- “We’ll see…” No child on the planet doesn’t know that this actually translates to “I’d like to say no, but I can’t think of a good excuse right now, so ask me again later.”
- “Finish your peas. There are starving kids in Africa.” Will those kids magically stop being hungry if Junior finishes his peas? Is it scientifically proven that guilt increases veggie consumption?
- “If you don’t pick up these toys, I’m going to throw them away.” Yeah, good luck with that. You spent good money on those toys, and we all know you’ve said this at least 50 times before without following through.
- “Your face is going to freeze like that!” or “You’d better pick up that lip before you trip over it!” Neither is remotely possible, but these warnings against the pouty face seem to remain popular for some reason.
- “Go ask your Dad/Mom.” This is just like #6. It’s a clever way of saying, “I don’t want to be the bad guy here. Let me pass the responsibility to your other parent.”
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In summary, being a parent often leads us to say some pretty ridiculous things—it’s part of the journey! We can only laugh at ourselves and hope our kids find it as entertaining as we do!