Hey there! I’m Jamie, and I’m here to share my ongoing saga of Diet Coke dependency. Yep, it’s been years of love and obsession. Many mornings, I’ve jumped into my car—still in my pajamas, no less—and sped off to the nearest gas station for my morning fix. The craving for that fizzy delight is just too overwhelming. But once I hand over my cash and grasp that 20 oz. bottle, a wave of relief washes over me.
I can’t be the only one, right? I’m sure there are others out there who can hear the sweet whisper of Diet Coke calling their name. It’s like a siren song, with visions of sparkling bottles dancing in our heads. Honestly, this addiction might as well be crack—just without the life-threatening risks (most of the time, anyway).
It all started with Tab back in the ’80s, which was like the street version of crack. Then came Diet Coke in 1982, and soon enough, it was everywhere. Like a drug dealer on every corner, they were pushing it hard. Over time, I found myself developing a serious dependency. Eventually, they introduced Coke Zero, which is like the methadone of soda addiction—fine in a pinch, but not the real deal.
Let’s break down the five stages of this addiction:
Stage 1: Planning Ahead
When weather forecasts predict a hurricane or snowstorm, while everyone else is stocking up on essentials, you’re probably just thinking about whether you have enough Diet Coke at home. You might even be making lists to ensure you don’t run out. There’s an unwritten rule among addicts: nobody ever shows up at a party saying, “Oops, forgot the booze and drugs.” If you’re planning your soda intake, you’re in the early stages.
Stage 2: “I’ll Quit Tomorrow”
You’ve got a plan to cut down, but, of course, tomorrow seems like the best day to start. This is a classic sign you’re entering stage two. Meanwhile, your mind is consumed with thoughts of that sweet Diet Coke.
Stage 3: Doing It Anyway
You know that drinking Diet Coke is causing issues—maybe even health problems—but you keep going. “It won’t happen to me,” you tell yourself, blissfully unaware that you’re venturing deeper into the addiction. You might even have a secret stash of cans hidden away, just for you. When guests come over, your Diet Coke is the last thing you offer, if you even mention it at all.
Stage 4: Lying About Your Intake
When someone asks how much Diet Coke you consume, you mentally tally the number and then subtract three. There’s no way you’re admitting to the full truth! You’ve gone from drinking it socially to enjoying it in the privacy of your own home, curtains drawn.
Stage 5: Full Dependency
At this stage, your mood and overall well-being hinge on having your Diet Coke fix. Without it, you might start experiencing withdrawal symptoms that make you feel miserable. And if your dentist raises an eyebrow during your check-up and asks about your insurance, you know you’re in trouble.
I typically find myself floating around stage three, but I know I need to change my ways before I dig a deeper hole. I’ve been down the road of addiction before and recently celebrated five years of sobriety from drugs and alcohol. Recovery takes time, and I’m hoping to kick this Diet Coke habit too. If you want to learn more about home insemination, check out our other blog posts here, or visit Make a Mom for expert resources.
In summary, if you find yourself relating to any of these stages, know that you’re not alone. There are many of us out here battling the fizzy temptation of Diet Coke, and recognizing the addiction is the first step toward change.