I returned to work nearly four years ago after being a stay-at-home mom, a decision that garnered plenty of accolades from family and strangers at the supermarket. However, the applause seems to have dwindled since I transitioned to a working mother. While some offer the usual flattery—“You’re like a superhero with everything you juggle!”—there’s often an underlying tone of skepticism, like, “There’s no way you’re managing all that well, and you’re depriving your kids of a mother.”
Balancing the demands of work and family is no easy feat, and the hurdles can feel insurmountable. As mothers striving to meet the expectations of both our children and our employers, it can be overwhelming. Here’s a light-hearted yet honest look at ten phrases that working moms would prefer to avoid:
- “I could NEVER leave my kids at daycare!” While you may genuinely feel that way, many mothers have no choice. This statement often carries an air of judgment, implying that you’re somehow a lesser mother. So, how about keeping that thought to yourself?
- “It would be great if you could volunteer more in the classroom. I know your son would love it!” Sure, I appreciate the sentiment, but I already volunteer when I can. I wish the pressure to be present in every single school event would ease up. Sometimes I just want the classroom to be a space for kids and teachers, allowing us working moms to save our precious time off for actual emergencies.
- “Mrs. Thompson? You need to come pick up Little Tommy—he has a fever.” The dreaded call. Just when you think you’re managing it all, you get that message. I love my child and want to care for him, but the anxiety of potentially losing my job makes this situation much tougher than it seems.
- “Can’t you at least be a substitute coach this season?” No, I can’t. Between cooking, helping with homework, and squeezing in quality time, I’m already stretched thin. Sorry, but I can’t help your kid avoid the nose-picking phase.
- “Next session, we’ll have practice at 4 PM instead of 5:30 PM!” Seriously? Can we not schedule activities for times that work for most parents? It’s like they don’t consider that many of us can’t be anywhere before 5:30 or 6:00 PM.
- “Wow, nice bag/haircut/jewelry—wish I could afford that!” On the surface, this seems like a compliment, but it often implies, “Look at you, working to buy luxuries instead of just making ends meet.” I’d rather have the life you think I have than the reality of juggling finances.
- “Maybe he wouldn’t be so hyper if he spent more time with you.” Ouch! That’s a blow to the heart. It makes me question whether my absence is affecting my child’s behavior, and that’s a tough pill to swallow.
- “Couldn’t you just work part-time? You’re gone so much!” Newsflash: part-time daycare doesn’t really save you money. Providers often charge nearly the same as full-time rates, which makes transitioning to part-time impractical.
- “HOW DO YOU DO IT?” This might come off as a compliment, but often it feels like a challenge. It’s as if they’re silently questioning how I manage to keep my home from looking like a disaster zone.
- “Don’t you MISS the kids while you work?” Of course, I do! But unless you’re offering to pay my bills, maybe keep that sentiment to yourself.
For more relatable insights on the struggles of motherhood, check out our post on home insemination, which dives into the emotional and logistical challenges faced by parents.
In summary, working mothers navigate a complex landscape of expectations, both at home and in the workplace. The pressure to excel in both arenas can lead to stress and self-doubt, especially when faced with well-meaning but ultimately misguided comments.