Grooming Expectations
Picture a bustling urban playground today. The fathers are clad in their trusty, worn jeans from 2009 and t-shirts featuring nostalgic bands from the late ’90s. They might have managed to shave last Tuesday. In contrast, the mothers, while also dressed in jeans and casual tops, have splurged on the fourth pair since their first pregnancy. Their blouses are often designed to elegantly drape rather than cling to post-baby bodies, featuring asymmetrical cuts to draw attention away from their midsections. A hint of makeup is present, but it’s kept minimal.
The boys mirror their fathers in similar (mostly tidy) jeans and sneakers, while the girls, though still ready for play, sport outfits with a touch more style. Think of little dresses adorned with charming bicycle prints and coordinating bloomers, or soft gray frocks paired with bright leggings and Mary Janes. Most boys have short hair, clipped quickly by an efficient barber for around $15, while girls typically enjoy longer styles, often styled at a salon for about $25, where they can sit in whimsical plastic duck chairs.
In my household, my husband and two sons are out the door in just 15 minutes, while I’m busy for 30 to 40 minutes—those asymmetrical blouses need ironing, and my hair requires a bit of attention to look decent. My husband, meanwhile, uses the time waiting for me to catch up on work or play the guitar.
The Cost of Grooming
This situation isn’t surprising to Dr. Jake Collins, an economist at a local university who studies grooming habits and time management. In our conversation, he echoed my observations regarding grooming norms for boys and girls. With a seven-year-old son, he noted how quickly they can get ready in the mornings. Dr. Collins analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey and discovered, in a 2011 study co-authored with his colleague Tina Reyes, that women typically spend about 15 more minutes on grooming each day than men—45 minutes for women compared to 30 for men.
But there’s more: women who groom for an additional 45 minutes a day, totaling an hour and a half, earn about 3% less than the average female groomers. When I inquired about the long-term implications of this 3% difference, he calculated that over a 30-year career, it could accumulate to a staggering $1.4 million. While this figure is based on a hypothetical $50,000 annual salary, it highlights a serious concern for future earnings.
Morning Routines
Upon hearing about the hour and a half grooming time, I was incredulous. What could possibly take that long? Yet, when considering the underlying factors, the question arises: why does more grooming correlate with lower earnings? Certainly, some grooming is essential for public-facing jobs, as good grooming often signals professionalism and dedication. However, could it be that women are penalized for appearing overly fussy? Dr. Collins speculates that employers may view excessive grooming as a negative, while I argue that the cultural norms encouraging extensive grooming may not align with high-paying career paths.
Looking at my friends in “high-powered” professions, they don’t seem overly primped—there’s no exaggerated display of glamour. They maintain a no-nonsense yet feminine appearance and have efficient morning routines. For instance, Maria, a tech professional, shares, “I just use eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara, maybe some gloss.” This minimalist approach signals a focus on her appearance without veering into vanity.
However, an interesting notion arises regarding “prep work” that extends beyond the daily routine. Maria explains that time-consuming tasks like manicures and choosing age-appropriate outfits (especially in industries lacking a strict dress code) add to the grooming burden. While men can often wear similar attire throughout their careers, women must navigate a constantly shifting standard.
The Impact of Grooming Choices
What if we chose to disregard traditional grooming standards for women altogether? Imagine if I donned a vintage band t-shirt and distressed jeans or opted for a crewcut every few months. It’s clear that a relaxed grooming standard for women might provoke negative judgments. A colleague, Lisa, who works at a girls’ school, noted that some of her peers have adopted more casual grooming styles, yet they often face criticism from colleagues, parents, and students alike.
This discrepancy starts young, with little girls already spending significantly more time on their appearance than boys. Mothers often recount the struggles of managing their daughters’ long hair, involving detanglers, clips, and the like—all of which consume precious time. For instance, a mother of twins reported that her son’s $8 haircut takes just 15 minutes, while her daughter’s $25 styling requires a full hour. The fairness of this situation is questionable, as both genders are equally adorable, yet the grooming standards demand more from girls.
Reclaiming Time
Imagine reclaiming all those grooming minutes. What if you could redirect the time spent worrying about stray hairs or mastering makeup techniques toward skills that genuinely enhance your life? This shift could significantly impact the wage gap, with individuals who invest their time in skill-building—like coding or learning a language—likely reaping greater rewards.
As I reflect on these standards, the truth remains that, if I had a daughter, I would probably indulge her with cute dresses and butterfly barrettes, despite the associated struggles. I would want her to be admired, hoping her beauty would shield her from life’s challenges. Yet, it feels unjust that I wouldn’t hold my sons to the same expectations, highlighting societal biases in how we value the appearance of boys versus girls.
Ultimately, the pressure on girls to look charming while engaging in activities adds an unnecessary layer of expectation. We encourage them to excel in various fields, yet we simultaneously impose a requirement to look appealing. It’s a subtle but persistent burden that translates into ongoing beauty routines.
In essence, we all share a bit of that “Working Girl” spirit, with the desire to simply get out the door or enjoy hobbies like playing the guitar without feeling weighed down by grooming obligations.
Summary
This article explores the significant costs associated with being a woman compared to a man, particularly focusing on grooming expectations and their economic implications. Women generally spend more time and money on grooming, which can negatively affect their earnings over time. The societal pressures to maintain a polished appearance begin in childhood and often lead to a disparity in how boys and girls are perceived and treated. Reclaiming time spent on grooming could shift focus to skill-building, potentially addressing wage gaps and societal biases.