It’s that time of year again—the moment when the most creative parents bring out their Elf on the Shelf Pinterest boards, ready to sprinkle some holiday magic for their kids (and, let’s be honest, their social media followers too). And sure, it’s super cute, and kids absolutely love it. Just this year, my 8-year-old, Jamie, straight-up asked me why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf. I can’t quite recall my answer, but here’s the real scoop: the reason we don’t have an elf is not that I’m a Christmas grouch or that my love for my child is lacking. Nope. The reason is simple—I’m just plain lazy.
To my fellow non-elfing parents, hear me out: once you dive into the Elf on the Shelf, you’re in for the long haul. You’re signing up for years of creative scenarios to keep your kids entertained every single morning for a whole month leading up to Christmas! For me, one night of wrapping gifts in stealthy “Ninja Santa” mode—trying not to get caught while I nibble on cookies left for Santa—is plenty. But you want me sneaking around, sprinkling Goldfish crackers in the toilet, balancing a doll on the tank while it holds a candy cane “fishing pole”? And then I have to come up with something new every night? No, thank you.
I can’t escape those elves, though. I see you all on social media, and I admire your dedication! It’s clear your kids are having a blast, and I have nothing but love for you—just know that I’m opting out, and that’s totally fine.
Now, let’s get real for a moment: I could easily borrow other people’s clever ideas. A quick Google search would yield a million results, but where’s the fun in that? I’d feel like a fraud every time I posed that elf with a Barbie in front of the TV, pretending they were on a drive-in date. My kid might laugh, but deep down, I’d know I just copied someone else’s creativity. Merry Christmas, right?
And every year, the pressure seems to build. More friends jump on the elf bandwagon, and I’m left feeling like a total party pooper for refusing to start a tradition I have no interest in continuing. Sure, maybe I’m a little boring. But what happens when the next big thing comes along? What if we end up having to deal with a “Turkey on the Shelf”? I’m not ready to pose a stuffed bird making a breaking run for it out the back door! Nope, I’m drawing the line here. I’ll happily take my kid to see a musical or even a Santa train, but that’s where I stop.
To my fellow non-Elf parents, let’s stand together! Let’s scroll through those perfectly posed elves in our feeds without judgment. Let’s cheer on our elfing friends while we kick back and do our holiday shopping online. Here’s to celebrating our glorious laziness together!
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In summary, while the Elf on the Shelf may be a fun tradition for many, it’s not for everyone. Embrace your own family traditions, however simple they may be, and remember that it’s perfectly okay to prioritize your sanity during the holiday season!