As my friends and I navigate the world of parenting older kids, we can’t help but marvel at how our little ones are transforming into young adults. With their long legs and thoughtful expressions, they are evolving right before our eyes. “They’re becoming real,” we whisper, reminiscing about the days when they were little bundles of joy with chubby thighs and soft hair. Now, they surprise us with their wisdom, share our humor, and, let’s face it, they no longer fit under our chins quite as snugly.
This year marks a significant turning point for me—my 40th birthday coinciding with my oldest child’s 12th. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster for both of us. As we share laughs or comfortable silence during drives to his volleyball practices, I can’t help but realize that I, too, am in the midst of a transformation.
Just like the Skin Horse in the classic tale, I have been through a lot. I’ve survived four newborn phases and countless toddler tantrums, watching my hair thin and grow back in ways I never anticipated. My body bears the marks of motherhood: stretch marks from nurturing life, flatter feet from carrying the weight, and knees that creak like an old door. Yet, I am undeniably stronger for it, even as I notice my seams beginning to show.
“Real isn’t how you are made,” the Skin Horse explains. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” And I remind myself that my imperfections are a testament to the love I’ve received. I’ve cradled a baby close to my heart, soothed a feverish child through the night, and been greeted with pure joy when my little ones run into my arms. Their love fuels me, even on the most exhausting days, and it has shaped who I am.
“Does it hurt?” the Rabbit asks. “Sometimes,” replies the Skin Horse, always honest. Yes, it hurts when doors slam and when an “I hate you” escapes their lips. The hardest moments come when I must watch my children face struggles that I can’t fix; those are the heartaches that knock the breath out of me. But, amidst the pain, there’s also magic.
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” the Skin Horse reassures us. “You become. It takes a long time.” My friends and I are warriors, navigating the trials of parenthood together. We’ve faced complicated pregnancies, challenging births, and the heartache of loss. We’ve fought personal battles against illnesses and embraced new loves. As we gain wrinkles and lose our youthful vision, we are learning alongside our children what it means to truly live.
But you know what? None of that matters. “Once you are Real, you can’t be ugly,” the Skin Horse wisely states, “except to people who don’t understand.” We see each other in waiting rooms, school events, and the sidelines of sports games, and we get it. This journey of Becoming Real is what unites us as real parents.
As we look into the eyes of our own parents, we see the wear and tear, the love, and the magic that life has etched into their faces. That’s when we know it’s all worth it. For more insights on the journey of parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource.
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In summary, parenting is a beautiful journey filled with growth, challenges, and the magic of love. As we navigate it, we learn that every wrinkle and every struggle is part of becoming truly real.