When I was pregnant with my first son, I had a chance encounter with a real estate agent who had helped us purchase our home. Excitedly, I shared my news, only to hear her say, “It’s better to have a boy first, you know, to get it out of the way.” I was left confused, not entirely grasping the sentiment behind her words. Was she suggesting that having a boy was some kind of necessary evil? Nevertheless, I smiled and nodded, trying to understand.
I always thought that having a boy first was a normal experience, as commonplace as welcoming a girl. But as it turns out, people have a lot to say about the gender of your unborn child. My Aunt Carol echoed the realtor’s approval: “Having a boy first is great; he’ll be there to protect his younger sisters.” A bit of dramatic irony, indeed, considering the future sibling dynamics in store.
Fast forward two years, and I found myself pregnant with my second son. We had relocated from Boston to Georgia, and during this time, I ran into our realtor again. “I’m so happy for you!” she exclaimed, then added, “I just wish you were having a girl this time. That would make it perfect.” I could sense a tinge of disappointment in her voice—something I noticed in the reactions of others as well. “Are you going to keep trying for a girl?” they would ask, treating the prospect of a third boy like a minor setback. As if two boys were just the beginning of a quest for a daughter!
When I learned that I was expecting my third boy, the ultrasound technician informed me that I was destined for a special place in heaven. Apparently, mothers of three boys earn some kind of divine reward. I’m not quite sure what that entails—perhaps it means endless peace and quiet or the luxury of using the restroom without interruptions? Maybe even a few unicorns.
During lunch with my mom, I mentioned that I was surprisingly okay with having only boys. She looked at me with sympathy and said, “The only downside to not having a girl is that daughters often grow closer to their moms as they age.” Thanks, mom. I’m actively trying to raise my boys to foster a love for HGTV and a healthy co-dependency to counteract this phenomenon you’ve mentioned.
When I informed my mom about baby number four being yet another boy, she simply said, “Well, Aunt Carol wants to know if you had a girl.” Fourth boys seem to be less exciting news; the surprise has worn off. By this time, people have mostly stopped expecting me to magically produce a girl and are more astonished that I’m having a fourth child at all. It’s common knowledge that after two boys, you’re allowed just one more chance at a girl, right?
Now that my four boys are here, it seems that having four sons is an endless source of fascination for others. They often respond with wide-eyed disbelief, exclaiming, “FOUR boys?!” as if that encapsulates my entire existence.
For clarity, we didn’t keep having kids in hopes of having a girl. Sure, I would have loved to have a daughter, but any regret is akin to thinking, “Gee, we should have gone to the movies more before kids,” or “I really overindulged in cookies tonight.” It’s not a haunting sorrow. My boys are incredible, and I believe my daughters would have been just as wonderful, had I been blessed with any. By the time I reached my third child, my perspective had shifted—every baby is a miracle, regardless of gender. Hoping for a girl felt similar to wishing for a baby with red hair; nice if it happens, but not something to lose sleep over (I also never had a redheaded baby, by the way).
And just to clarify, we’re done expanding our family. No more trying for a girl here! If you’re curious about family planning or the intricacies of pregnancy, check out this insightful article on Cervical Insemination. And for those looking into options for home insemination, this reputable site offers great kits. For further reading on pregnancy and fertility, take a look at Science Daily’s resource.
In summary, while the journey of having boys may come with a series of well-meaning yet puzzling comments, it’s a path filled with joy and laughter. Each child brings their own unique light, and regardless of gender, they’re all blessings in their own right.
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