When someone asks how I’m doing, my go-to response is, “I can’t complain.” Honestly, I truly can’t complain. We have a cozy home, food stocked in the pantry, a loving partner, and healthy kids. In an age where it’s easy to fall into a complaining rut, I strive to be as grateful as possible.
Lately, though, I’ve noticed that grumbling has become a common way to connect with others. We grumble about the weather—too much rain, too little rain, or the sweltering heat. Then there’s the slow cashier at the store, the abysmal service at a restaurant, and the never-ending carpool lines. I’m just as guilty! Just the other day, I was venting about how sticky and humid it was, or how I wouldn’t mind shedding a few pounds (while clinging dearly to my beloved carbs and wine). And don’t even get me started on the forty-five minutes of rush-hour traffic to get my son to hockey practice!
Sure, everyone has their off days, but I’ve been making a conscious effort to curb my complaints. Before I let another one slip out, I think of my friend Jenna.
I met Jenna back in seventh grade. She was exceptionally bright, especially in subjects like English and History. Kind-hearted, soft-spoken, and always with a sense of humor, she was a joy to be around. After high school, she attended a wonderful college and became an English teacher, inspiring middle school students with her love of literature. She had three energetic boys and stayed connected with our graduating class through reunions. Tragically, during her third pregnancy, Jenna was diagnosed with a severe form of breast cancer. Just a couple of years later, at age 39, she passed away, leaving her youngest son just two years old.
The last time I saw Jenna was at a birthday party for a mutual friend’s kid. It was June, and her cancer was in remission at the time. She was full of life, engaging with her boys, and radiating positivity. It was a stark contrast to the October when we learned her cancer had returned aggressively. By Thanksgiving, she was gone.
Whenever I find myself in a funk, feeling irritated by everything around me, I think of Jenna. As I stand at the kitchen sink washing dishes, I remember that she would give anything to be in my shoes, scrubbing pots and pans. When my alarm blares at 6:00 AM on a school day and I’m exhausted, I think of how she would leap at the chance to wake up her kids. And as I navigate through traffic for carpool runs, I remind myself of how fortunate I am to be engaged in these ordinary moments.
I’m working on being more mindful of my words and shifting the conversation towards the positive. It’s not always easy, but it’s a choice I’m committed to making. I’m inspired by a dad I see at my son’s hockey practices; whenever I ask how he’s doing, his response is always, “Living the dream!” He says it jokingly, but you know what? He’s onto something. We are living the life that Jenna and so many others would have loved to experience. So if you ask me how I’m doing today, I hope to reply with a cheerful, “Living the dream! I can’t complain at all.”
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In summary, while it’s easy to slip into a cycle of complaints, reflecting on the positives and practicing gratitude can dramatically shift our mindset. By remembering those who would give anything for our mundane moments, we can cultivate a more appreciative outlook on life.