Among my circle of friends with teenagers, the topic of the elusive “first kiss” has become a hot-button issue lately. Some teens have already ventured into the choppy waters of romance, while others yearn for that initial peck as much as I crave my morning cup of coffee. Yet, many seem far more enthralled by their digital lives—after all, platforms like Minecraft and Instagram offer a sense of reliability that the unpredictable tides of teenage attraction simply cannot match.
Most people are fortunate to experience a few thrilling kissing moments that lead them to ponder the existence of fate, soulmates, or the undeniable allure of chemistry. But unless you’re living out a scene from a classic teen film, your first kiss is likely to be somewhat underwhelming. My own inaugural experience was certainly memorable, albeit in a rather peculiar way.
My Soap Opera Love Life
At the age of 14, I found myself cast as a regular on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live. The show was in search of a fresh twist to capture the attention of younger audiences, and my character, Cassie Callison, needed two boyfriends to create tension and excitement. One suitor was a polished country club type adored by my character’s mother, while the other was a rough-around-the-edges mechanic who was anything but her choice.
In a hurried meeting during my lunch at the studio, the producer shared his vision with my mother and me. He had a peculiar habit of gazing just above your head while speaking, making it hard to tell if he was addressing you or some unseen VIP. My mother bobbed her head, desperately seeking reassurance that Cassie’s storyline would remain age-appropriate. With a wink that seemed directed at no one, he assured us, “I’m sure Cusi must have at least two boyfriends.”
The Reality Check: Zero Boyfriends
Unlike Cassie, I had zero boyfriends at 14. My crushes were reserved for teen heartthrobs like Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson. I had spent my formative years in an all-girls school, making boys feel like a mystery wrapped in an enigma. My friends would chatter about boys’ looks and charm in ways I didn’t quite grasp at the time.
The Day I Experienced 14 Kisses
On a sunny April afternoon, I was set to have my first 14 kisses on a soundstage filled with a camera crew and network executives. I was informed that screen tests were being conducted for both of my on-screen love interests, and each scene culminated in a kiss. Though my mother wanted to voice her concerns about this being uncharted territory for me, I urged her to remain silent, convinced I could navigate it all with humor rather than fear.
As I descended into the studio, I encountered my 14 pretend suitors—half were preppy and polished, while the other half embodied the bad boy aesthetic. They were all strikingly handsome, and their playful posturing reminded me of actors auditioning in New York. One particularly rugged guy, with long hair, was reciting, “red leather, yellow leather,” presumably to warm up for our upcoming scenes.
Feeling a mix of nerves and excitement, I hurried to call my sister for advice on how to approach kissing 14 charming boys. With each ring, my anxiety grew, leading me to call my mother instead. Our conversation was both humorous and a bit awkward, as she tried to impart wisdom I desperately needed at that moment.
“Darling, remember, all these boys were once 14 too. They’re probably just as nervous as you,” she reassured me. Her words lingered as a helpful reminder that we all fake it sometimes, especially when facing new experiences.
A Sampling of Kisses
That afternoon, I dove into a whirlwind of kisses that weren’t particularly romantic but incredibly enlightening. I gained an unexpected education about kissing that, under normal circumstances, would have taken years to acquire. While some actors were skilled, others seemed to be on a mission to explore every corner of my mouth.
One tall guy with an intense gaze had a unique style, leaving me baffled. Another, who seemed to think suction was the key to great kissing, made me question my dental hygiene. Yet, amidst the chaos, I experienced one kiss that stood out—a moment of ease and connection that was both comfortable and slightly exhilarating.
There was something undeniably special about Dimple Guy, who smiled at me with genuine warmth before each take. Even though he didn’t land a role, I would later see him return six months later as my new love interest.
The Lessons of First Experiences
Reflecting on that surreal day, I took my mother’s advice to heart. Life’s significant moments often require a bit of faking it until you make it. Whether it’s first kisses, relationships, jobs, or facing loss, there’s no perfect way to approach these experiences. The key lies in recognizing the beauty within the imperfections and finding joy in the journey.
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Summary
This article recounts a humorous and poignant reflection on the first kiss experience, blending nostalgia with valuable life lessons. It touches on teenage romance, the nuances of growing up, and the importance of finding beauty in life’s imperfect moments.
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