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Thinking About Skipping That Good Habit, Just This Once?
By Jamie Peterson
In this piece, I dive into a tricky issue: how can we make a one-time exception to a good habit without completely derailing it? Sometimes, we find ourselves wanting to break a habit—whether it’s to seize a unique moment or celebrate a special occasion.
A fantastic strategy for navigating this is the concept of a “planned exception.” This approach acts as a buffer against impulsive choices. As grown-ups, we set our own guidelines, and by planning exceptions ahead of time, we can consciously choose to step outside our usual routines.
When we plan ahead, we gain a sense of control. We aren’t just throwing our good habits out the window on a whim, and we’re avoiding the pitfalls of last-minute rationalizations. Feeling in control can significantly boost our overall happiness.
The most successful exceptions tend to be specific and have a clear endpoint. Just this morning, my buddy Mark shared how he used a planned exception to deviate from his norm of eating low-carb meals.
Many folks think, “I’m on vacation; I deserve a treat! These pies are irresistible, and you only live once!” But they often end up tossing their healthy eating habits aside. Mark wanted to indulge, but he did so thoughtfully.
“When I was in a cozy cabin in Montana, I dined at a restaurant renowned for its pies,” he recounted. “People travel from far and wide for these desserts. Before I left New York, I established my pie policy.”
His pie policy? One slice per meal. I was impressed by the cleverness of his strategy. Here’s how he approached it:
- “If I’m in Montana, I’ll eat this way.” Using “if-then” planning is powerful. By deciding in advance how to behave, he made it easier when the moment arrived. Plus, limiting the exception to Montana keeps it under control—Mark loves pie, but he’s not booking a flight just for a slice.
- “I get one slice with every meal, but only one slice.” Yes, he had pie for breakfast (pumpkin tofu or peach pie) and at every meal, but only one slice each time. Clear-cut rules remove the need for any on-the-spot decision-making, making it straightforward.
- “No pie to-go; I can only eat it at the restaurant.” In the past, he had sometimes skipped pie at a meal, brought it back to the cabin, and then indulged throughout the day. This kind of eating can lead to less self-monitoring, which is why it seems appealing, but we generally do better when we keep an eye on our choices. One slice per meal? Simple math!
- “I broke my low-carb rule, but only for pie.” After a few days, he thought, “Wow, some ice cream would be fantastic, and there’s a great place nearby.” However, Mark knows himself well enough to realize that if he allowed pie to lead to ice cream, he’d soon be indulging in bread and pasta too. So, he enjoyed pie and kept it at that.
- “I knew I’d enjoy my vacation more with pie.” It’s essential not to feel deprived when sticking to good habits. Feeling deprived often leads us to think, “I deserve this,” or “I’ve earned it,” which can result in unhealthy treats. By finding a way to treat himself, Mark avoided that “life’s not fair” mindset and truly savored his vacation’s special moments.
It’s worth noting that Mark is an Abstainer, and this strategy worked well for him. Many Abstainers find that they thrive by abstaining rather than attempting moderation, though they may indulge on occasion. On the flip side, I’m a complete Abstainer too. You wouldn’t believe the things I’m avoiding lately! (For a hint, check out our other post here.)
One important lesson about habits is this: sometimes, to keep moving forward, we have to allow ourselves to take a break.
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Summary:
Making exceptions to good habits doesn’t have to lead to chaos. By planning ahead and setting clear boundaries, we can indulge mindfully without derailing our routines. This can enhance our enjoyment of special occasions while keeping our good habits intact.