Updated: August 2, 2016
Originally Published: October 19, 2014
You might not realize it, but my child, who is living with HIV, is having playdates with your little one. She’s interacted with your child at the local preschool, splashed around during swim lessons, and even stood in line behind them at gymnastics class. Thanks to legal protections, we don’t have to disclose her HIV status to anyone—be it schools, camps, or even other parents. The only ones that need to know are her doctors and dentists.
Due to the stigma and misconceptions surrounding HIV, many courageous individuals fought for the right to keep this information private. Our adoption social worker warned us, “Keep it to yourselves. There’s a lot of ignorance out there. Your child is already unique in our community; do you really want to give people another reason to judge her?”
This year in kindergarten, my sweet daughter tried to explain her situation to your child. “Sophie, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood! I was born with it, and my mommy from China had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon sleeps.” Sophie and several friends didn’t quite get it—one even chimed in, “Well, I was born in China too, and I have a dragon!” Kids say the darndest things! I reassured my daughter that they just didn’t understand yet.
So why is it that I don’t have to inform schools, churches, or daycare centers? Because, quite simply, HIV has never been transmitted in these settings. Thanks to modern medicine, the virus is practically powerless. Every four months, my daughter has her blood tested, and each time the results come back clear—no trace of the virus. She’s healthy, happy, and full of life. I patch her scraped knees, clean up her bloody noses, share snacks, water, and even kisses—without any fear of spreading HIV.
She just happened to be born with this condition. If her birth mom had access to life-saving antiretroviral medications during her pregnancy, my daughter could have been born HIV-free. Interestingly, those medications are provided for free in China, thanks to the government. However, many HIV-positive individuals in China avoid treatment because admitting their status often leads to rejection from their loved ones.
In the future, my daughter might date your son and even have HIV-negative children of her own if she desires. So fellow moms, let’s break the stigma. HIV is not something to fear. Take a moment to research and talk with your pediatrician. Knowledge is power! You don’t have to take just my word for it. Just know that my daughter is playing with yours, and you probably don’t even realize which one she is. And that’s perfectly okay.
Ignorance and stigma are the real dangers here, not HIV.
For more insights on parenting, check out our post on home insemination kits. If you’re looking for resources on pregnancy, this site can be a great help. And if you’re curious about boosting fertility, this expert can provide valuable information.
In summary, my child with HIV is thriving and interacting with your child, all while maintaining her health. It’s crucial to confront the stigma surrounding HIV and educate ourselves to foster a more accepting society.