Have you ever experienced a moment that filled you with joy and self-worth? Perhaps you received an unexpected promotion at work, aced a challenging exam, or delivered a speech that earned you rave reviews. Maybe someone you’ve been crushing on finally asked you out. Close your eyes and take a moment to relive that feeling—where you were, what you were doing, and how it made you feel.
Now, let’s pivot to your current state of mind. If you happened to win the lottery just before reading this, congrats! I hope you’re riding that high. But for many of us, we might not be feeling quite so euphoric. Maybe you’re just good, slightly tired, or even a bit low.
A Fresh Start Every Day
Most of us don’t dwell in that blissful state of self-affirmation for long. We often wait for life’s little miracles—the promotion, the compliment—to feel good about ourselves. But what if we could tap into that uplifting feeling more frequently?
Stanford psychology professor Max Harrison suggests that the perks of feeling good about ourselves are more significant than we realize. According to the “self-affirmation theory,” we have a fundamental need to see ourselves as decent people. When this belief is even slightly threatened, we may react defensively.
This defensive mindset can hinder our ability to tackle challenges. For instance, if a student receives a poor test score, they might shy away from future tests. Similarly, when someone encounters evidence that contradicts their beliefs, they may dismiss it. When we lack self-confidence, we become easily threatened, which stifles our growth.
The Joy of Feeling Good
Conversely, when we’re in a positive self-perception, we’re less likely to feel threatened, allowing us to embrace numerous benefits. Research by Harrison and his team revealed that engaging in simple self-affirmation exercises can lead to:
- Boosted grades for high school students
- Increased openness to constructive health information
- Reduced stress in challenging situations
- Encouragement for weight loss
- Enhanced feelings of love and connection in relationships
Surprisingly, these benefits can be long-lasting, stemming from a single affirmation. This self-perpetuating cycle suggests that when we feel good about ourselves, we tend to perform better, which further boosts our self-esteem.
Secrets to Happiness
So, how can you cultivate this positivity in your own life? Studies indicate that writing about your personal values is an effective strategy. Here’s how to get started:
- Take a moment to jot down a list of values that resonate with you. What principles guide your life? What kind of person do you aspire to be? Examples might include nurturing relationships, curiosity, kindness, rationality, ambition, and hard work.
- Choose one or two of these values that resonate most deeply with you. Spend some time reflecting on why they matter and recall a moment when you embodied that value.
You might also want to establish habits that consistently elevate your self-esteem. Schedule activities you enjoy, surround yourself with uplifting friends, or engage in mutual affirmations with a buddy or loved one. These practices may not have extensive scientific backing yet, but they align with the positive effects of self-affirmation.
Avoid tying your self-worth to uncontrollable events like promotions or external praise. Instead, take the time to define what truly matters to you and measure your worth by your own standards. Dive into that reflection now and see if you can recapture that earlier glow!
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Summary
Embracing self-affirmation can lead to a more positive self-image and enhance your ability to navigate life’s challenges. By identifying and reflecting on your core values, you can cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth independent of outside validation.