Right now, I find myself in a bit of a lull—unemployed, but not by choice. Layoffs can be quite the plot twist, right? With the kids back in school and our new routine established, I suddenly have three days a week with nowhere to go. But I’m making the best of it! I write, declutter the basement, and whip up some scrumptious, healthy snacks. (I’ve started tossing raisins into my chocolate chip cookies—because, hey, fruit! And guess what? They taste awesome! Plus, with nobody else in the family touching them, I get all the healthy treats to myself!)
I also spend plenty of time lounging on the couch, which I like to call “resting, rejuvenating, and reviving myself”—or, in layman’s terms, binge-watching TV. I’m a bit of a traditionalist; I don’t really do on-demand programming. There’s something delightful about flipping through channels and stumbling upon a gem. Of course, this means enduring a fair share of commercials. Like I said, I’m a bit old school, so I’ve grown accustomed to those dreaded commercial breaks.
They offer me a perfect moment to use the restroom, snack on a healthy cookie, or shuffle the laundry. But one particular commercial had me utterly captivated. I felt as though I’d slipped into a time warp and landed back in 1985, reminiscent of a scene from Peggy Sue Got Married. What caused this confusion? An ad for the latest fall trend: stirrup pants.
Oh, stirrup pants. I remember them well from their first reign of fashion glory back in junior high, when every girl had at least one pair in her closet. The burning question of the day was whether to wear socks tucked inside or outside. Most opted for the outside look, even if it meant hiding the stirrup part. But, let’s be honest, everyone knew who was rocking stirrup pants. If you were in the socks-inside crew, well, you were a tad less cool—but at least people could still see your fashionable choice, and that’s what mattered.
Sure, they’ve likely received a modern update to fit today’s style, but let’s not kid ourselves: there’s only so much you can do with stirrup pants. They’re like a bra—you can add pretty lace and vibrant colors, but at their core, they remain just what they are.
Moreover, stirrup pants are downright uncomfortable. In the ad, the actress was strutting around in heels, making it seem like stirrup pants were the pinnacle of comfort. But I know better. That strap sits across the arch of her foot, a thick elastic that stretches just enough to keep her from breaking into a sprint. Each step pulls the pants down a little more, and soon enough, she’s yanking them back up in the least flattering manner possible.
The foot is packed with nerve endings, which is why it’s so ticklish and sensitive. That’s also why wearing those stirrup straps for more than five minutes feels like torture. It’s as if a pesky seam in your sock has decided to make its presence known, no matter how many times you adjust your footwear.
Honestly, I’m not interested in revisiting that discomfort at my age. The only place I want an elastic strap on my pants is around my waist. Back in junior high, we quickly figured out that comfort trumped coolness, wearing the pants with the stirrups dangling off the back. Sure, it looked odd, but at least it was bearable. This trend fizzled out quickly, and anyone who dared wear them the following year was marked as uncool, no matter how they styled them. I reckon this latest stirrup pant revival will have a similarly fleeting existence—not just because of their discomfort but also because of the unfortunate associations we now have with the word “stirrup.” Nobody wants to link a fashion choice to a doctor’s visit!
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Medical News Today. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination, make sure to visit this authoritative site for a comprehensive kit.