A few weeks back, I finally indulged in a bubble bath—yes, a real one. I try to do this once every seven or eight months, even though it’s never as relaxing as I hope. But hey, I’m persistent! I stopped locking the bathroom door years ago; I’d rather deal with surprise visitors than listen to the chaos on the other side.
“Mom, are you done yet? What are you doing? I was here first! Stop hitting me! Mom, he just hit me! Mom, I have to go potty RIGHT NOW!”
And yet, we have four bathrooms in our house. Four! Still, I choose the lesser of two evils: leaving the door unlocked and hoping for the best (sigh).
I managed to enjoy approximately six glorious minutes of solitude before my first uninvited guest barged in, casually placing the toilet lid down and making herself quite at home.
“Why are you taking a bath, Mom? You never take a bath,” she asked, genuinely perplexed.
Before I could respond, the second uninvited guest burst in with infectious enthusiasm.
“Mommy! You’re taking a bath! Can I watch?”
“No, and aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?”
“Oh, right! I’ll go get it.”
Seriously? Before I could even process that, she returned, homework in hand, plopping down next to the tub with a pencil, a worksheet, and a lap desk.
“Really?” I thought.
“I need help with my homework, Mommy.”
Uninvited Guest #1 chimed in, “Mom is trying to take a bath! Right, Mom?”
“Yes, my thoughtful child, I am,” I replied, while UG#1 continued to point out the obvious from her throne on the toilet, “Mom, I can see your (she gestures toward my chest area). Maybe you should cover up with a washcloth or something?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? You see, in many cultures, it’s customary to remove one’s clothing before getting into a water-filled bathtub. Just a little life lesson for you.”
Enter Uninvited Guest #3, and now it’s officially a party.
“MOMMY! Why are you taking a bath? Can I come in?”
“No, Buddy. Go find your Dad. Where is he, anyway?!”
“Okay, Mommy! Be right back.”
“Perfect.”
UG#2 piped up, “Mommy, do you like taking a bath?”
“Sometimes,” I said, trying to keep my cool.
“Mom, the bubbles are disappearing. Are you sure you don’t want a washcloth or something, you know, to (pointing again)?”
“Nope, I’m good. Thanks for your concern. Here’s a thought: get out.”
Just then, UG#3 zipped into the room like a race car, grinning from ear to ear, wearing nothing but that smile.
“BUDDY, YOU ARE NOT COMING IN…” (sigh) “Hi there, Buddy.”
“I like taking a bath with you, Mommy.”
“Give me the washcloth, please.”
And that, in a nutshell, is “me time” as a mom—never truly alone!
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In summary, a mother’s attempt to enjoy a simple bath is often thwarted by her little ones, turning what should be a moment of peace into a chaotic family reunion. Despite the interruptions, it’s all part of the unique adventure of motherhood.