Let me tell you a story. After arriving a tad late to a studio, I recounted an unsettling experience I’d just had. Instead of support, some colleagues replied with skepticism—“Are you sure?” or “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?” It felt like they didn’t want to believe me. I shared what happened on my show’s Facebook page and while I did receive a wave of support from viewers, there were still those who echoed the doubts I faced at work: disbelief.
Women and people of color face this kind of dismissal daily. We often hear comments like:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Don’t take it so personally.”
- “If only you hadn’t…”
- “Just think of it as a compliment.”
- “That happened to me once, but you don’t see me complaining.”
That’s why I was so excited to come across a talk by Anita Bright, a media figure I admire, who pointed out a simple yet powerful truth during her appearance at the XOXO Fest in Portland: “One of the most radical things you can do is to actually believe women when they talk about their experiences.”
Just imagine that! To believe someone when they share their story. It’s not a stretch to offer trust instead of skepticism, especially when it comes to difficult situations. We tend to accept good news with open arms—like when someone says they received a compliment. But when it’s a serious matter, we often hesitate. I once dated someone who dismissed a serious news story about sexual harassment, saying, “You know women make up so much of that stuff.”
Experiences of racial bias, micro-aggressions, and domestic abuse all share a common thread: dismissal. It’s frustrating to hear someone say, “You must be mistaken.”
But here’s the good news: we have the power to create a vocal community that demands change. To those of you who hesitate to speak up, remember your strength lies in the ability to believe and support others. It can spark a powerful movement.
Now, let me share a personal anecdote from my daily commute across the George Washington Bridge. One morning in 2008, I noticed three stopped cars as I exited. To my right was a van driven by a Latino man, and to the left, another brown man was behind the wheel of a sedan with a female passenger. After letting an Anglo man go in front of me, I made eye contact with a police officer who gestured for me to pull over.
“Where are you from?” he asked, glaring through my window. I replied, “Uh, Manhattan.” My voice—trained for television—caught him off guard since I looked different, thanks to a no-makeup day for a shoot. “I’m actually the host of a CNBC show. May I show you my ID?” I slowly retrieved my company ID, and without a word, he handed it back and waved me on.
I drove away shaken and furious. Clearly, I had been caught up in an undocumented worker sweep—was it lawful? I wasn’t sure. Did I worry about the others left behind? Absolutely. And you know what would have made it easier to bear? If my colleagues had simply believed me.
For more insights on navigating these experiences, check out our other blog post here. Also, if you’re looking for resources on artificial insemination, this Wikipedia page is fantastic. And for those curious about home insemination kits, you can find more information at Make A Mom.
In summary, it’s vital to foster a culture of belief and support when women share their experiences. By doing so, we can combat the pervasive dismissal that so many face daily. Remember, your belief can make a difference.